It’s easy to want to give up on the world.
The news drowns us in stories of tragedies and evil. All around us, fear and terror seem to reign supreme. In our daily lives, losses both big and small threaten to usurp our optimism. We’re surrounded by lies, deceit, treachery, disasters, losses, and disappointments. In short, we often lose faith in humanity, in the meaning of life, and even in ourselves. What’s the point to all of the madness? And what can one person really do to change the state of a truly dysfunctional society? Malala Yousafzai answers this question with a resounding answer: one person can do a lot. I Am Malala
About a month ago, I read Malala’s story I Am Malala… and I was so moved and inspired. Malala was always a revolutionary in her country of Pakistan; despite the fact few girls attended school in her culture, she devoted her time to her education. Her father opened a school that educated girls in an attempt to further the development of girls’ rights.
When Malala was shot by the Taliban, however, everyone thought her fight for education was over. If she survived, she certainly would be quiet in her approach. She would be forever changed and fearful. They were wrong. Malala continues to advocate for equal access to education despite her harrowing experience. She is an inspiration to everyone who feels like making a difference is impossible. If a teenage girl can take on the Taliban and the world belief that girls don’t deserve education, what’s stopping the rest of us? To survive the experience she did is amazing and miraculous. To take the situation and courageously speak out is a whole other level of brave. He Named Me Malala
The DVD recently released called He Named Me Malala follows the book’s story and message. Malala still struggles with effects from the shooting, including the loss of movement of the left side of her face. What struck me, though, was her enthusiasm for life and passion for change. She says in the video she doesn’t care if she can’t use the left side of her face; education is what matters. To see her advocating for change for girls in other parts of the world, to see her speak up in the face of danger is empowering. Here’s a teenager who giggles when she sees a picture of Brad Pitt and fights with her brother. She says herself in the video she is just an ordinary girl.
But the changes she has sparked are far from ordinary. Malala reminds us how important it is to stand up for goodness and justice in the world. In a world full of bleakness, we must seek to be the light, just like she is. She took a horrific experience and turned it into something powerful. If a girl who was shot by the Taliban for going to school can get back up, smile, and see beauty in the world, we can, too.
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"Damn," he mumbled, hands smoothing her hair as he kissed her forehead. He grinned mischievously as he pulled back to look down into her face. "You know, they do make an Emergency Stop button for a reason."
"Oh, yeah? Why's that?" "For this." He cornered her by the elevator buttons. He pushed the Stop button as he took her lips in his mouth, flooding her with passion again. She pulled back for a second, just long enough to ask, "What if an alarm goes off?" He looked into her eyes, his hand rustling his hair. "It'll just be all the more exciting," he whispered, leaning back into her with vengeance. She knew he was right. Amazon US: http://amzn.com/B01CN52G24 Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01CN52G24 Amazon AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B01CN52G24 Amazon CA: http://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01CN52G24 iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1090799670 Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/then-comes-love-4 ARe: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-thencomeslove-1996… Nook: http://www.bn.com/w/1123496239 Tagline: Three generations of women, Three second loves, All with a dose of chaos mixed in. Blurb: Sometimes in life, changes can be good… After losing her husband, her five cats, and her home, Charlotte Noel hates feeling dependent. As Charlotte tries to find her identity in this new stage of life, she comes to realize that drama never ends, dance aerobics can be a war zone, and love is always a possibility. You never know when a midlife crisis is going to strike… Charlotte’s daughter, Annie, is going through struggles of her own. Recently divorced, she is feeling frumpy and worn-out. Run ragged, Annie mourns her youth and wonders where her life is headed, all while hoping she can help her daughter Amelia get it together. Settling down can be overrated, especially when you’re falling for a rock star look-alike… Amelia is the wild child of the family. Working three jobs, because she just hasn’t figured out what she wants in life, she realizes happiness isn’t always settling down with a steady, dependable man; sometimes it’s about following your true passion and living on the edge. No matter what age you are, life and love can be crazy…
I met my first love at the art table in seventh grade.
It was not a match made in heaven. The angels didn’t sing. In fact, I’m pretty sure he barely noticed me. But I noticed him. I looked at him, inexplicably curious about who he was. In my gut, I felt something, knew something momentous was happening. I was assigned my seat at the table in the back corner. Across from me…the boy was assigned his seat. Chad. I cannot describe why I noticed him. I mean, in all fairness, there was nothing super unique about him. He wasn’t sporting a Mohawk or trying to get my attention. He wasn’t flexing his muscles or wearing a pink shirt. He was just there. Right away, something told me he’d be important. Now, four years of marriage later and almost sixteen years since we first met, I can say without a doubt I was correct. Why I Married My First Love
There are amazing benefits to marrying your first love whom you met at twelve-years-old.
Why Marrying Your First Love is Tough
As with everything, marrying your first love you met at twelve comes with its challenges.
Our love story is special, but then again, it’s not. We’re just two average people who found love very early. I know we’re lucky to have found “the one” before we even knew we were looking for the one. I know we are blessed to have so many years together already. I also know it hasn’t been easy and it will continue to be hard. First loves are always tricky. They haunt us, plague us, and taunt us with what could have been. For me, though, I’m blessed, because I haven’t had to figure out what it’s like to move on from one. I’m still with him. Childhood is a whirl of confusion, bliss, clarity, and naivety. The memories we have from this time shape us into the people we become. However, our memories rarely strike us with luscious clarity or certainty. Our memories are often haunted by our adult perceptions of reality, tainted by the stories we are told and our family members’ retellings of the events.
I cannot say with certainty what my first memory is. There are blips, pieces of my life that flash around, pieces of joy, of fear, of resonating sadness. So, below, a description of some of my early memories, since I cannot pinpoint exactly one.
The list goes on and on. My childhood was a magical one. I was an only child, but I was never lonely. With my parents, my pets, and my imagination, I was never alone. My mom was a creative mind, always coming up with something for us to do. Most of all, my childhood taught me that books are magical. From an early age, they always put a book in my hand. My childhood was filled with moments, big and small, that shaped me into the person I am today. Looking back, the first memory isn’t what is the most important—it’s the people in my memories. Every memory, every moment of my childhood involves my parents. And every memory, every moment that shaped me is because of their dedication, their values, and their commitment to giving me the best childhood they could. "I better get going. I have an early shift tomorrow at the bookstore," she said. He nodded, telling Charlotte good-bye and giving Butternut a scratch. Annie stayed behind to round up the cat and to catch up with Grandma Charlotte.
Heading to the elevator hand in hand, Owen looked down at her, smiling. "What?" He shook his head. "Nothing. It's just, God, life is exciting with you." He winked. "You call stealing an already stolen cat and fighting with a psycho exciting? You need a life," she teased. He laughed. "You might be right. But seriously, what other girl could offer me such mad, crazy entertainment?" He purposefully bumped into her shoulder with his. They walked into the elevator, and he squeezed her hand, prompting her to look up at him. "What now?" She grinned, feeling fluttery in her chest. Even in a hospital elevator, he made her smile. April's Writing Challenge: Writing Inspiration
I’ll say it—the thing no blogger should ever say.
I’ve been in a bit of a *gasp* blog rut. I’ve been forcing myself to write these past few weeks, racking my brain for topics. After scratching a few blog posts on bland things no one would want to read about, I took a small break. One blog post. a week or so? That would be enough. And then came https://www.facebook.com/writerscircle to the rescue. Their post on the 30 day April writing challenge saved my lack of inspiration. So some of the topics are a bit strange, but I’m giving it a go. Maybe this will result in thirty days of “wth is that girl doing.” Hopefully, though, you’ll find something of value or interest in the next month. Five Problems With Social Media
I’m a bit of a social media immigrant. I wasn’t raised with it. Facebook became popular when I was in my last year of high school. Thus, I was brought up to have a sense of wariness about technology and social media. I grew up in the “protect your identity” and “don’t tell anyone the truth online" era.
Boy, has that changed. Now, most evenings you can find me, eyeballs glues to my computer screen, phone, or both. I spend way too much time scrolling my Facebook newsfeed, liking pics on Instagram, and counting my characters on Twitter. Over the past year as I embarked on my author journey, I’ve found social media to be an amazing connector. I’ve met authors, writers, publishers, and all sorts of other participants in the writing community thanks to the power of social media. I've found some great resources including one of my favorites, The Literary Lightbox with Loretta Milan, and even this April writing challenge. It's been a great journey. When I started writing, I felt so alone on this crazy journey. Now, though, I feel like I can connect and relate with so many others going through my journey. More than that, I can stay connected with old friends, old acquaintances, family, and everyone in between. However, even I, the Facebook addict, can admit there are downsides to social media. Thus, here are my top five problems with social media. 1. I'm a creepy phone avoider.
So this probably stems from my deeply introspective nature that surfaced as a child. I was always a bit shy growing up. The shyness has been replaced with a penchant for talking peoples’ ears off today. Still, though, I hate calling people. As in loathe it, find millions of excuses not to, put it off for days. Be it the dentist, a hair appointment, or a family member, I’d rather write a letter using my own blood than make a phone call (okay, that was a bit too Poe, but you catch my drift).
Social media has practically eliminated the need for phone calls. Having a party? Invite your family by creating a Facebook event. Need to rally support? Tweet about it. Want everyone to see your adorable new puppy? Instagram it (#adorable). Social media makes it easy to stay connected without dialing a single phone call. I am able to admit the downside to this. If it were up to me, no one would ever hear my voice on the phone. But sometimes, a phone call is just so much better. Social media can’t replace the sound of concern in a loved one’s voice or the simple connection made between two people talking. 2. Social media has made it easier for me to be a cat hoarder.
This one’s a stretch. But seriously, Facebook, stop making it so easy for me to find adorable, sad cats that need homes. Every time I’m on social media, I see tear-jerker stories about cats and dogs who are abandoned and neglected. I’ve cried (as in ugly tears) at videos of a homeless poodle, a beagle that underwent animal testing, and scores of other sad animal videos on social media.
Social media is awesome for spreading awareness and helping animals get homes, don’t get me wrong. But with five cats and a dog pushing two-hundred pounds already, my heart doesn’t need pulled anymore. If I didn’t have a rational bone in my body or a husband who swears we can’t have any more cats, Facebook would gladly help me find at least twenty more. Every post I see makes me ask the question: Is one more cat really going to hurt anything? Cue the cat hoarding cycle. 3. I feel like nothing is genuine.
Sometimes social media can jade our opinions of real life and put us in a weird little social media bubble.
This can work both ways. Sometimes, it seems like everyone on social media only posts great things. We see friends getting married, having babies, getting promotions, buying new houses, winning contests, etc. It seems like everyone’s life is just rocking. That girl you hated in high school? Well, she’s living the dream, according to social media. That kid who bullied you? Also living a golden life. Then, sitting on your couch with your cats eating Ramen noodles and wondering what Netflix show to watch next, you start to feel sorry for yourself. Why aren’t you having this picture perfect life? Why is everyone else so damn happy? Facebook and social media envy are real. Studies cited on The Huffington Post have shown we can actually increase envy and depression with social media because we feel like everyone else’s life is awesome. Obviously, social media sometimes only shows a gilded version of the truth, but it’s hard to recognize that. On the flip side, sometimes social media makes us think the world is truly evil. We see posts about horrific news events, posts about discriminatory attitudes, posts that erupt into social media warfare over politics, religion, and everything in between. We see friends whining about how unfair life is or how cruel the world is, and suddenly, life does seem awful. We see social media as an escape from a sometimes complicated world—only to find the world on social media can also be complicated, frustrating, and hate-filled. Sometimes we need to step away from the virtual world and step back into the real one to realize life’s all about balance; believing life is about the extremes isn’t healthy. 4. People? Who needs real people?
This ties in closely to number two, but I think social media has only contributed to my hermit-like qualities. When you don’t need to leave the house to feel connected with someone—why leave the house at all? I am so happy most nights chilling on my couch with Henry watching television and playing on social media. I think social media is a great thing because it does build genuine connections. However, sometimes we start to feel more like Miss Havisham than ourselves, which also isn’t quite healthy. Sometimes we need to move the clocks to the right time, get off our Facebook newsfeed, and rejoin the land of the living. Face to face interaction cannot be replaced with online interaction.
5. I have no attention span.
I’m just going to say thank you to a friend…oh look! A kitten video!...oh, wow, that meme is inappropriate…ew, what is she wearing…is that a Lularoe sale?...those Jamberry nails are adorable…oh my goodness, it’s bedtime.
Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have killed my attention span. It’s easy, as I’m sure you know, to be pulled in a million directions on social media. You start out trying to pass five minutes, and you find that two hours have passed as you jump from post to post and page to page. I find this translating into less attention even in my “real” life. Social media prides itself on giving information quickly and in bits and pieces. We can scroll down on Instagram and see dozens of pictures in an instant. We can get quick snippets on Twitter. In real life, then, reading an entire story or listening to a long conversation can be…well…boring. Social media has killed my attention span, but I doubt I’m alone. How many of you had the attention span to make it to this sentence? Blogging research shows…sadly probably very few. Social Media Verdict
So yes, clearly there are bad things about social media. From turning us into cat hoarders who avoid phone calls to pulling our attention, social media does have some negative personality effects.
But doesn’t everything? At the end of the day, social media helps me feel connected, helps me express myself, and helps me reach more people with my words. Thus, I’ll continue creepily sitting on my couch with my herd of cats texting until my fingers fall off. How about you? Work and Writing
With three books released in just over a year, the most popular questions I get are:
1. How many copies did you sell? 2. How the heck do you find time to write all of those books? Since question one is something I’m still working on (marketing is a post for another time), I’m going to tackle question two today. As many new authors know, publishing a book does not automatically equate to the ability to buy a vacation home, a yacht, or even an order of groceries. Most of us simply must keep our day jobs. Not that I mind. My first love will always be teaching, and as a high school English teacher, I have the perfect career to support my love for writing. However, with my full-time job as a teacher, it can be tough to find balance. Between working on my master’s degree, teaching, regular adult responsibilities such as laundry, and everything else, finding the time to write is tough. I currently have more project ideas than I have time to write. However, I do still find time to write. I have three books published in the past year, and I have two more drafts finished for two other books. I could never do that! I don’t have that kind of time! Is that what you’re thinking? So was I after Voice of Innocence was published. But, over the past year, I’ve learned a few things about finding time to write. Do not Force Yourself to Adhere to a Strict Writing Schedule
Many famous authors would disagree. Many argue that consistency is the key to producing a lot of works. You must set a word limit. You must write every day.
For me, though, writing is the place where I don’t have to be the meticulous, rational rule follower I am in my day to day life. I love the freedom in writing, the creativity. So I don’t force myself to adhere to a writing rule. Over the summers when I’m not teaching, I do write every day. I try to write at least a chapter or two. But if I don’t feel like it? I don’t. Sure, there is the risk of getting completely away from writing and falling into an endless cycle of Netflix binging. But it hasn’t happened to me yet. I’ve found that by not pressuring myself to write a certain amount, I’m able to write more and write with a higher quality. I simply write when I am inspired, and I write when I can. If I have a free night, I write. If I have a free week, I write every night. If I’m swamped with schoolwork and other activities, I don’t write. I do not want to be a writer who sacrifices quality content for quantity. I refuse to write when I’m not inspired. I refuse to pressure myself to produce if I’m stressed. I think this is where the day job complements my writing. When you aren’t writing for the sole reason of producing an income, you have more flexibility in your schedule. So yes, it’s hard to balance the demands of teaching with my desire to write. However, my teaching allows me to be flexible, to write whenever I’m inspired, and, thus, to be a better writer, I think. The lesson: Write frequently, write when you have time, but only write when you truly have your heart in it. Word quotas are only successful if your heart is in it. Confidence Leads to Efficiency
Voice of Innocence took me about three years to write only because I didn’t have any confidence. I constantly told myself:
Once it was published, I thought I’d never write another book. I couldn’t possibly find another idea and find the ability to finish it. But then I wrote Without You over the course of a single summer. Once it was published, I wrote Then Comes Love over the period of about two months. Once it was published, I wrote the majority of a first draft for my next book over the course of winter break . What’s even better is that I do not believe I’m sacrificing quality for this increased efficiency. In fact, my readers have agreed that my third book is better than my first two. So do I have a magical potion that is helping my fingers fly faster, my brain work harder? Yes, in a way. It’s confidence. The more you write, the more you publish, and the more readers you gain, the easier it gets. Truly. Before, I would second guess every character, every word choice, every scene. I’ve learned now, though, to go with my gut. Whatever I feel, whatever I vision, I write. This doesn’t mean my gut instinct is what shows up in the final copy. I edit mercilessly. But for the draft, I no longer worry if I can pull it off, if I can be successful. I just go for it. It’s like taking the training wheels off your bike for the first time. The first ride down the driveway is wobbly at best, slow and sometimes painful. The more hours on the bike, though, the smoother you get, the more confident you get. Suddenly, you’re riding around town without a thought. The lesson: Give yourself time. Experience leads to confidence, and confidence leads to faster writing. Find Genuine Passion for Words
For me, writing is my escape. In the “real world,” I’m rational, logical, responsible. I worry about how society views me, I worry about saying the right thing.
In my books, I can be someone else. I can be the wild Amelia who isn’t afraid to do crazy things. I can be Violet, the zany redhead who fearlessly goes after her dreams. I can see parts of the world, I can meet new people I’ve only imagined. It truly is like another world I live in. It’s hard to explain the zone I’m in when I’m writing. It’s almost like a meditative state. I’m thinking, but I’m not. I’m visioning what’s happening and letting it translate into words. It’s not a deeply conscious, rational process. It’s very freeing. Thus, writing truly is my hobby. While some go hiking to clear their heads (are you crazy? :) just kidding), some bake cookies, some exercise, and some knit, I write. It’s what I love. Thus, the hours spent laboring over a work, the nights invested in writing a new book or editing a finished one, they fly by. They don’t feel like I’m working. If you have a true passion for writing, you’ll find you want to immerse yourself in the process. It’s not a chore. It’s not something you have to schedule. It’s something you’re called to. Even when I tried to quit writing Voice of Innocence, I simply couldn’t. The characters would come back to me during a walk, at night when I was trying to sleep, at random points in the day. I simply felt I had to write. When you have this passion for anything, be it writing, fitness, singing, or shopping, it’s easy to make time for it. Rachel Ray once said in an interview you know you’ve found your calling in life when you don’t mind staying late at your job. It’s the same for writing. If you truly love it, the time will work itself out. The Lesson: True writers have genuine passion for the work. Any tips you have for balancing your job with your writing? How do you make time to write? Comment below to get the conversation going. |
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