I write sweet romance.

I’ve been a published romance author for almost three years now, but I’ve spent most of those years trying to shrug off this sentence, to run from it. I’ve tried to make my descriptions of what I write more sexy, more risqué, and I’ve sometimes tried to portray my work as something it just isn’t. I’ve spent countless hours trying to figure out how to sell my fade-to-black romance as something more marketable. I’ve attempted, at least mentally, to worm my way into the most popular segments of the genre only to find myself not quite fitting.
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It’s not that I’m ashamed to write sweet romance. It’s just that for most of my career, I’ve found myself in a defensive position of my writing. It is through these defenses, however, that I’ve learned a lesson valuable to any writer, but especially to those in the romance genre.

​I didn’t start my writing journey determined to focus on sweet romance; it just sort of happened. When I put my fingers on those keys and drafted my first novel, sweet romance just flowed out.

I could attribute my sweet romance and lack of sex scenes to many things. Perhaps it was my love of Nicholas Sparks that encouraged me to write books focused on the emotional side of relationships. Maybe it’s that my introverted, conservative personality never allowed conversations about sex to be quite comfortable. Or maybe it’s partially the fact that as a high school teacher, I knew I didn’t want to have to blush knowing some of my students were reading those scenes.

Whatever psychoanalysis we want to attribute to the cause, I know the outcome is that my works are lacking in the hot sex-on-the-page sort of scenes.

It’s not that my characters are chaste or that I can’t appreciate the value of sex in romance. I truly do. I think we all have our preferences when it comes to spice in our novels, though, and I believe there’s a place for all types of heat levels in the romance genre.

Regardless, I’ve found myself “taking heat” for my notable lack of heat. Over the years, I’ve heard comments about the lack of sex in my books and the disappointment over the lack of physicality. The words “sweet romance” seem to incorrectly conjure images of cheesy, unrealistic scenes where everyone is constantly happy, and life is perfect. I’ve been accused of skipping crucial segments of the genre.

Again, I get that and appreciate the value of those comments. We each have our preferences and our tastes. These are the greatest gifts literature gives us—stories to fit everyone’s desires and the freedom to critique the stories that don’t speak to us. As an English teacher, I try to impress upon my students the idea that every single book has value, even if it doesn’t strike a chord with you.

Nonetheless, for so long, I’ve had a hard time appreciating the value of my own work. Daunted by a market that is seemingly owned by books with heat, I’ve questioned my writing. I’ve felt the “sex sells” society values creeping in on me. I’ve questioned what could happen if I just jumped the “no sex” hurdle. I’ve tried in my drafts to be sexier and more risqué. I’ve considered crossing that not-so-invisible divide within the genre.

And you know what? It didn’t feel right. At all.

It was with my last release, which is perhaps one of my sweetest romances, that I realized one important thing: Your own truth is the one you should value when it comes to your writing.

For me, that truth is that I am a sweet romance writer. I will never fit into the Fifty Shades kind of world in the romance genre, and that’s not a bad thing.
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It is only when I had this epiphany that I realized my own value as a writer and the worth of my stories. It was when I came to terms with exactly who I am as a romance writer that I could better appreciate my successes and stop focusing on what I am not.

It’s not just sweet romance that is marked by incorrect stigmas. At several book events recently, I’ve seen the other side of the spectrum. When I mention the word “romance,” I see a shriveling of the nose  accompanied by one of the following statements:

• “Ew, I don’t like to read stories that are all about sex.”
• “Sorry, but I like stories with depth to them.”
• “I don’t like reading cheesy stories about whips and chains.”

Interestingly enough, these comments—which clearly show a lack of understanding of the romance genre and the idea that every book has value—helped me clarify my stance on what it means to be successful.

Through these comments I realized: No matter what type of romance you write, spicy or sweet, you’re going to have critics. You will never suit everyone’s tastes.
And you know what? That’s perfectly okay.

As romance writers, we cannot measure success by what’s popular or what the market demands. We can’t base the heat level of our book on marketing trends or on variables like reader preference and opinions of strangers.

At the end of the day, we must learn to value our own instinct, our own passion, and our own voice. We must learn to be true to our stories and characters. We must write in the way we are called to write. We must tell the stories we yearn to tell in exactly the way we want to tell them.

It is only when we learn to listen to our own voices and let our guts be our guides that we can truly reach success in the genre.

So sweet or spicy, sex or not, learn to write the story that speaks to you, and the rest of this arduous but rewarding writing journey will lead you to the exact point you are supposed to be.

Lindsay Detwiler is a contemporary romance author with Hot Tree Publishing, a contributing blogger for The Huffington Post, and a high school English Teacher. To celebrate sweet love, visit her on Facebook.

Love isn't just about sex.

It's the one thing I learned from my favorite writer, Nicholas Sparks.
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From the time I first opened one of his books in junior high, I realized how beautiful, magical, tragic, and complex love truly was. Watching two very diverse people with different struggles, backgrounds, and beliefs find their way to each other was magnetizing. I loved to see how they would meet, how they would overcome their hesitancy, and, most of all, how they would grow and change each other.

The power of the love story wasn't in the physical connection--although the first kiss scenes were always some of my favorites. The true power was in their emotional connection, their ability to overcome odds, and the ability to show that love could triumph even where it was thought to be forever lost.

Perhaps, without even knowing it, my love of Nicholas Sparks' books was preparing me for my own writing journey later on.

When I wrote Voice of Innocence, my first novel, I didn't plan on writing sweet romance--it just came naturally. It was where I thought the depth of the story was. It was where the emotional side of life was resting that I wanted to uncover. It wasn't necessarily an intentional choice to write on the sweeter side of the genre--it was simply what flowed from my pen sitting on my parents' deck that summer when I was twenty-one.

And each story follows the same path. I don't set out with the rigid rule for myself to keep my books clean. I don't set out to keep the focus on the emotional rather than the physical.

It's just what the characters and the stories decide.

In many ways, I think Nicholas Sparks is to blame. He showed me that the true depth of emotion was resting in the connection, in the sweet looks, in the inspiring gestures. Perhaps this is why when I write romance, I focus on the emotional connection, on the love that's experienced in everyday life, and on the love experienced outside of the bedroom walls.

My characters in my eight novels aren't celibate. They love and share and bond. They get into heated situations, and their sexual tension is certainly palpable in many scenes. They give in to lust and primal feelings. They are, after all, human. They are in love. Sex is a part of love.

It's just not the only part.

So although my characters experience their share of intimacy, my books focus on the other areas of intimacy--emotional connection, trust, friendship, laughter, empathy, and strength. They focus on the hardest times in life--loss of loved ones, disappointments, failures, and betrayal--and how love can help us overcome these times. They focus on all of the gritty, raw emotions that are part of the human experience.

My characters are real in their journeys, their words, and their choices. They get angry. They swear. They change their minds and get confused. They fail and make bad decisions. They doubt themselves and each other.

They are also real in their relationships. They aren't perfect, just like in real life. This has always been my goal with my writing.

And, most importantly, just like in real life, their relationships aren't just about sex. Their love stories are complex, weighty journeys filled with all sorts of emotions and connections. Just like in real life, their love stories are not defined by sexuality or physicality. They are defined by multifaceted aspects that contribute to who they are and what they change into.

Love, in the real world, isn't just about sex. Thus, I have always felt like it was my duty to show that romance can be real.... and can be about more than just one thing.

Romance that's real. Romance that's sweet.

That's my mission with my writing.
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Feel free to join me on my mission to show that the romance genre can reflect real life... and be beautiful because of it.

A bookworm at heart and a lover of the romance genre since junior high, I always dreamed of being an author. For me, though, being an author was a wild, crazy dream, one of those things you daydream about but never think will happen to you.

In my last year of college, I took a class called “The Literature of Health & Healing.” It changed everything. Suddenly, we were talking about bucket lists and dreams. I realized I had no reason to wait to chase my wildest dream--writing a novel. I went home, sat on my parents’ deck, and started writing what would become my first novel, a sweet contemporary romance set in a town very similar to my own.

Voice of Innocence is about a couple who are high school sweethearts when Corbin is wrongfully convicted of a crime. Told from their perspective decades later, it’s a tale filled with regrets, sorrow, and the idea that first love truly never fades away.

My husband, the man who also taught me what love looks like, is the one who encouraged me to send my first book to publishers. After a long journey, I found a publisher and got to see my wildest dream come true.

Now, my eighth novel just released with my amazing publisher I am proud to call home, Hot Tree Publishing. It’s been a wild and crazy journey, just as wild and crazy as my dream. I am so blessed that a small-town girl like me gets to live out my biggest dreams.
What are my books like? Sweet, genuine, and realistic. That’s how reviewers describe me. I’m in the romance genre, but my books aren’t only about love triangles and finding “the one.” They’re sometimes gritty and raw. They’re about impossible situations, frightening tragedies, and also some hilarious settings. I write both chick lit and romantic drama, so out of my eight novels, there’s a balance of humor and tears.

If you’re looking for hot sex on the page, these aren’t for you. My books focus on the emotional side of love--with a touch of spice thrown in. After all, everyone can appreciate some hot foreplay, smoldering kisses, and nice abs now and again, right? Still, my focus is on the buildup and the emotional side of romance. These tend to be books you can share with all of the women in your life--your mom, your grandma, your best friend--and not blush too much.

My books focus on realism. I want women to see themselves in my characters. I want their complexities, their confusions, and their struggles to feel so real that you forget you’re reading a book. I want you to see yourself, your best friend, your coworker in the strong, emotional characters of my books. I want you to see your own version of romance in the pages.

My characters aren’t perfect because I’m not perfect. None of us are. They change their minds, make mistakes, get lost, doubt themselves, and find joy in the simple things. They are raw and honest. They are complex.

Real romance. Genuine romance. Heartfelt romance. That’s what I’m focusing on.

If you’d like to join me in proving that the romance genre can be realistic, genuine, and powerfully emotional, join my VIP Fan Club where you can get all sorts of freebies, exclusives, and fun surprises: http://bit.ly/2u42BjU
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Find out more about my work on my blog: http://www.lindsaydetwiler.com/
Check out all of my novels on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Lindsay-Detw...

All of You by Lindsay Detwiler releases January 27th. Treat yourself now while it's #99cents.
There’s no such thing as impossible when it comes to saving the one who holds your heart.
Amazon US: http://amzn.to/2yn3rXG 
Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/2hnb2Ce 
Amazon CA: http://amzn.to/2hWPj10 
Amazon AU: http://amzn.to/2yLVsrp 
Kobo: http://bit.ly/2ApHasT 
Apple: http://apple.co/2hhDMbJ
TBR: www.goodreads.com/book/show/35527988-all-of-you
A sexy doctor who’s restricted by expectations.
A quirky poet who’s defined by her dark past.
All it takes is Alex Evans saving Marley Jade one fateful night for their futures to be realigned. And when a passion sparks between them, they must decide if they can piece each other back together and make love work.
#AllOfYou_Reveal #LindsayDetwiler #HTPubs

Love Notes by Lindsay Detwiler
Do you like getting mail...that isn't junk mail or a bill? I'm going old school and sending out some fun surprises related to my new release, Inked Hearts. Get your exclusive free gift in the mail by filling out this simple form!
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Love Notes by Lindsay Detwiler
Do you like getting mail...that isn't junk mail or a bill? I'm going old school and sending out some fun surprises related to my new release, Inked Hearts. Get your exclusive free gift in the mail by filling out this simple form!
Feel free to share with your friends!

​Throbbing body parts. Obscene gestures. Vivid foreplay and sexy, thrusting bodies.

Do I have your attention yet?

In our “sex sells” society, these seem to be the hallmarks of the romance genre. In fact, when I tell someone I write romance, I’m usually faced with two types of people.

• Scowling and near vomiting, the people who say, “Oh God, a whips and chains kind of book? No thanks.”
• Or, eyes twinkling as they look to see if anyone else is looking, the kind of people who whisper excitedly, “Are there whips and chains in these books? Because I sure hope so.”

I certainly understand the allure. I’m no stranger to appreciating a sexy body or a nicely written, sexy scene. In my teens, I was an avid romance reader. At the time, the suave scenes, the perfect moments under the twinkling stars, and the sexy exchanges seemed not the things of fantasies, but the things of possibility. They inspired my vision of love.

Fast-forward to my early twenties when I started getting serious about writing. By that time, I was no stranger to the fact that the fantasies in romance novels are usually just that: Fantasies.

By that time, I’d traded the lingerie of my romance novels for flannel pajamas that weren’t inspiring any sort of lust. I’d realized that love wasn’t always candlelight dinners in gorgeous, skintight dresses and stilettos while we made eyes at each other across the perfectly set table. Instead, love became eating fast food on a Tuesday while we complained about work and cleaned up cat vomit from the carpet. Love became falling asleep on the sofa beside him because I was exhausted from getting up so early instead of staying up all night and looking at the stars. The scenes from my romance novels faded away as real life took hold.

But, as I started thinking about writing in the romance genre, I realized something: Love is so much more than some of the fantasy worlds we see in romance novels. Not that there is anything wrong with that! We need escapism. I love a rock-hard body as much as anyone. And, that’s not to say these books are only about unrealistic expectations.

However, I realized something about my beloved romance genre: something was missing. That something was that as a twentysomething whose views of love had changed, I wanted to see myself in romance. Maybe it was selfish on my part. Maybe we could psychoanalyze and say it was simply to justify to myself why my relationship had gone a bit stale, had been overrun by real life.

Maybe that’s all true.

Regardless, I knew when I put my fingers on that keyboard and started writing, I wanted to see real-life romance. I didn’t want female characters who had it all figured out. I didn’t just want rock-hard abs and passionate looks.

I wanted turmoil and confusion. I wanted characters who, like me, didn’t have it all figured out in their twenties or even thirties. I wanted characters who got lost in the world at times, who got lost in love, and who had their doubts. I wanted to see characters who fought about dishes, about in-laws, about the car, and about careers. I wanted characters who pushed each other away and pulled each other back in.

I wanted emotion, depth, and complexity. And I didn’t want all of that to only take place in the bedroom.

It’s not that I’m naïve or a proponent of chaste living. Sex is certainly a part of the equation, and hopefully we all find a way to keep romance alive in our relationships. Hopefully we all get to live the fantasy a little bit now and then.

But I don’t think for most of us that the fantasy and hot sex are the focuses of our relationship. Because, hopefully, most of us have a level of reality facing us. We have a level of depth. We would all live inside that sexy world forever if we could… but many of us can’t. Life is hard, and love is harder.

I wanted novels that reflected that. I wanted novels that didn’t just help us escape, but helped us come to terms with the realities of life and love. I hoped to write novels that showcased how love is not perfect or easy… but it can still be powerful and beautiful.
Love doesn’t have to be perfect to be worthwhile, and it certainly isn’t always neatly packaged.

Messy. Hard. Complex. Emotional. These are the things I wanted to see in my novels because these are the things I’ve experienced.

So for me, I’ve come to believe the romance genre isn’t just about sex, about fantasy, or about guy+girl=love. For me, it’s about showcasing real-life love, the kind that isn’t always perfect but is just as magical in its own way.

Join me on my journey to showcase real romance. Join my tribe and celebrate the fact that perfectly imperfect romances are stories worth telling.


Lindsay Detwiler is the author of 8 sweet romance novels and a high school English teacher. Check out all of her works on Amazon or wherever books are sold.

Yesterday, I was fortunate to be on the "In the Mood for Love" panel at George Mason University'sFall for the Book with Ada Calhoun and Katy Upperman.

The event featured over 150 authors, including headliner Lev Grossman. I got to see him speak about The Magicians. His sense of humor and his humble nature really resonated with me and inspired me to pursue my dreams. Hearing his story of struggle in the writing field and also how he came up with the idea for the series resonated with me. I definitely recommend you check him out if you are a writer struggling with inspiration.

My panel with Ada Calhoun and Katy Upperman was equally as inspiring. These two women are passionate about what they write, which shows in their works. In addition, they are just genuinely nice people, which made the event so much fun.

I also got to meet Natalina Reis, who happens to be an author at my publishing house, Hot Tree Publishing. To see her willingness to drive just to support me really made me so grateful to be at a publisher with a true family feel.

Being an author can sometimes be lonely, but events like today really give you the motivation to keep going. Networking with other authors, hearing their struggles and triumphs, and just being around people with a similar passion as you really incites you to chase your own version of greatness. 

Thank you so much Fall for the Book for having me. And to all of the authors out there...get out there to events. Be social. You never know where motivation and inspiration will take hold.

Happy writing, happy reading, and happy weekend!


Lindsay Detwiler

☆ New Release & Giveaway ☆

'Remember When' by Lindsay Detwiler is LIVE!

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be….

They met at a wedding, Todd the only man wearing jeans, Jessica the beauty with a troubled background. Settled into married life after falling in love, they have so many things left to do in life. They think they have so much time… until Jessica and Todd’s average married life comes to a halt on a snowy back road. When their truck careens down an embankment, they find themselves in a life-or-death situation. With rescue seeming impossible, they cling to the only hope they have left: their love for each other.

As they fight for survival, their connection carries them through the biggest challenge of their lives. Memories and regrets swirl around the couple as they finally take a moment to reflect on what they’re doing in life.

There’s one big, icy question that haunts them, though: Is this where their story will end?

#RememberWhen_Release #LindsayDetwiler

All links: http://books2read.com/remember-when
Giveaway: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/ea80a6ed222/

Tour Organizer: https://www.facebook.com/hottreepromotions