He kissed me on the cheek, a sweet, quick gesture he thought I didn't notice.

It was the middle of the night, and I had been asleep for hours. My husband was just coming to bed after staying up late to play video games. He thought I was asleep, but I awoke just enough to note the kiss, to feel the sweet, secret gesture of love before he groggily turned to his side of the bed and fell asleep.

To an outsider, it would've been no big deal. It certainly isn't the Instagram-worthy moment of romance we all think of. It wasn't a grand, flashy gesture for all to see. It wasn't a shouting from the rooftops of who we are and how much he loves me. It wasn't a status update or a public gesture of romance.

It was a simple, sweet, stolen kiss on the cheek in the middle of the night when no one was around.

But to me... it meant everything.

To me, it was a reminder that our love isn't for show. It isn't some flashy candlelit dinner or dozens of roses on a whim. It isn't a trip to a romantic paradise or overt displays of passion.

Our love is a genuine, deep kind of connection and an unconditional concern we hold for each other. That kiss reminded me that he truly loves me, not because it's what married people do but because it's who we are together. It was a simple gesture, but a gesture that said so much... because it was for no one but us.

In truth, that kiss symbolizes who we are as a couple. We are a couple based on simple love, deep friendship, and the understanding we are a team.

Our love is a heartfelt connection, a knowledge that we're better and complete together. It's his strong arms holding me when I'm ugly sobbing about an injustice. It's our simultaneous laugh at the same humorous moment that no one else thinks is funny. It's our small habits and routines that make us who we are. It's the way we laugh about the cat being in the way every night at bedtime and the way he says "I love you" before going to sleep, even if we're pissed.

Our love is listening to each other vent and helping each other overcome. It's about chasing dreams individually but always together. Our love is communicating with the raising of an eyebrow or a single look. 

Our love is a surprise chocolate when he knows I'm having a bad day or a listening ear when he's frustrated by someone. It's pizza on Valentine's Day and inside jokes. It's walking our mastiff on a Saturday night and lounging in sweatpants on our date night in. It's eating appetizers while watching HBO instead of going out. It's a fast food restaurant and a bouquet of wildflowers for a special occasion. It's a random trip to a consignment shop on a snowy winter night in our hometown. It's a walk hand-in-hand to a local shop for breakfast, my hair a mess and my clothes wrinkled.

Our love isn't flashy and obvious. It isn't the kind of sweep-you-off-your-feet, once-in-a-lifetime dates kind of thing you'd see on The Bachelorette or another reality show about love. It isn't this in-your-face, traditionally romantic thing.

But over the years, I've come to realize the beauty in that. I've come to realize how much I like our love story and the fact it isn't the traditional, obvious sort of thing. 


Our love is a sweet, simple kiss on the cheek when no one else is watching--and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Today, I welcome a guest post from Sylvia Smith. ​Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

​Is it time to talk to the teenager in your life about love and relationships? Talking above love (or even worse, sex!) sounds like the kind of cringe-worthy chat most teenagers would much rather not have with their parents. But in fact, an honest chat about love is an important part of preparing your teen for their transition into adulthood, and a good way to teach them about healthy relationships and boundaries.
​
Here are 10 reasons why you should be talking to your teens about love.
 
1. Teaching Them About Good Relationships
 
Romantic relationship is a new territory for your teenager. Talking to them gives you the chance to teach them what good relationships look like. You can empower them with the confidence to say no to any relationship that is less than respectful, and educate them about having healthy relationships.
 
2.  Warning Them About Signs Of Abuse
 
Let your teen know what makes up an abusive relationship and be clear with them that they don’t have to accept any behavior they are uncomfortable with. Let them know that abuse isn’t only physical violence, but also covers put-downs, being pressured to do things they don’t feel happy with, or being steered away from family and friends. Look up some anti-abuse resources online and share them with your teen so they’ll be ready to spot any warning signs.
 
3. Setting Boundaries And Expectations
 
Teenagers notoriously like to push boundaries – it’s all part of growing up. Now is a good time to talk to your teenager about your boundaries and expectations around love and relationships. Discuss curfews and ground rules with them. Be prepared to negotiate and listen to their concerns. Talk openly about when and how (or if) it’s ok for them to stay with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or have them stay over.  
 
4. Defining Love vs Lust
 
This isn’t about being puritanical or shaming your teen for normal impulses. But do talk to them about the difference between love and lust. Help them understand the importance of thinking carefully about major decisions such as how far to go with their partner, and when. Give them a good grounding in how to know whether a partner really cares for them, or is just looking for some fun.
 
5. Showing Them What Respect Looks Like
 
Respect is the key to healthy relationships. Talk to your teen about respect. What does it mean? Show them what respect looks like in a healthy relationship: Talking kindly to each other, taking interest in each others lives, and respecting each others feelings, needs and boundaries.
 
 
 
6. Starting A Discussion About Preferences
 
Figuring out everything about sexuality can feel like a minefield. Make things easier on your teenager by starting an open discussion with them and letting them know that it’s ok if they don’t have it all figured out right now. Reassure them that there’s nothing wrong with being bigender, agender, transgender, gay, or anything else. Let them know that no matter what, they’re just as perfect in your eyes.
 
7. Building Trust Between You
 
Talking openly about love, sex and relationships is a great way to build trust between you and your teen. They’ll see that they can talk to you about anything and you’ll be there to listen and offer thoughtful advice. That sets up a healthy, trusting dynamic between you and your teen. When they’re navigating the ups and downs of love and need someone to help them, they will turn to you.
 
8. Showing Them How To Navigate Emotions
 
Emotions are tricky when you’re a teenager. Suddenly you have all these intense feelings, and we’re sure you remember how dramatic situations can get when there are a few teens involved. Teach your teen about emotional self care and regulation and help them to know themselves and handle their emotions better. They’ll be better equipped for dealing with the emotions of first relationships and first love.
 
9. Teaching Them How To Stay Safe
 
Love and dating aren’t always safe. You can let your teen know that without scaring them. Talk to them about staying safe,tell them to always keep an eye on their drink and make sure someone knows where they are. This is also a good time to chat with them about safe sex.
 
10. Being There For Them
 
Talking to your teen about love lets them know that you’re there for them as they go through this exciting and turbulent time in life. By modeling respect and openness, you build trust and make it easier for them to come to you to share their joys and worries.
Being a teenager is fun, challenging and tumultuous. Talk to the teenager in your life about love and give them the tools they need to form healthy relationships now and for the rest of their lives.

About the author:
​
Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

​Alcoholism and drug addiction negatively affect relationships. When a spouse is an addict, the couple likely has poor or absent communication. The addict may be physically or psychologically abusive, unfaithful, or overly controlling. The addiction may create financial strain. Overall, the situation is stressful and lonely for the spouse that isn’t suffering from the addiction. If your spouse is an addict, you can try to find him or her treatment and find ways to heal together. But you also need to know when to walk away.
 
Getting Treatment
 
While you can’t force your spouse into treatment, there are things you can do to help him or her realize the addiction is out of control and treatment is necessary. For starters, stop enabling your spouse. The only way for him or her to realize there’s an issue is to experience the consequences of the addiction in the fullest extent. If work or a family event is missed, don’t make excuses.
 
When talking about the addiction and your concerns, be specific. Instead of saying, “You need to stop drinking because it’s unhealthy,” say, “Being drunk prevents you from attending dinner, and it’s hurting our marriage.” To that point, discuss the negative consequences specific to your marriage. Tell your spouse what will happen if he or she doesn’t seek help, but only say it if you mean it.
 
Have other family and friends bring up the addiction with you. The more people involved, the bigger the impact, but the individuals should be people your spouse knows and trusts. Carefully time these meetings when your spouse is sober and calm. Ideally, it should be soon after an addiction-related issue has occurred so that a consequence is fresh in your spouse’s mind.
 
Healing Together
 
When you’re ready to mend the relationship, it’s advisable to get help from a counselor or therapist. Going through the steps to heal together will be difficult, but a trained professional can help the two of you to stay on track and achieve success. Even with help, it will be stressful and take a period of adjustment. You may need couples therapy along with one-on-one sessions.
 
Outside of therapy, there are things you can work on to move your relationship into a healthier place. First, treat your marriage like it’s a new relationship. Everything changes after addiction issues, including you, your spouse, and your relationship. Go on dates again. Whether it’s once a month or once a week, make sure you have time alone together to bond.
 
Having a healthy, positive living environment is also important in order to promote sobriety. This could mean finding a new place to live to boost your spouse’s recovery, or visiting with your spouse while they temporarily live in a halfway house if they are finishing up treatment.
 
When disagreements arise, try to stay positive and avoid fights. If you need to take a break from the argument, then do so. Some issues are best discussed with your therapist, who’s an impartial third party. Every day, work on forgiving your spouse, but accept that it takes time to gain new trust.
 
Calling it Quits
 
Deciding to stay or leave is not an easy decision to make. Despite knowing that you’ve tried everything, that your self-esteem is shot, and that you’ve lost ample amounts of time trying to fix your spouse, you still love him or her. You worry what will happen to your spouse if you leave. Ending the marriage may make you feel like you’ve failed. However, consider the cost of staying. Your self-esteem, mental health, sense of well-being, and even physical health could be comprised.
 
Abuse in a relationship should never be tolerated, whether it’s physical or psychological. Consider leaving if your spouse lies, cheats, or steals. If your partner continues to worsen despite your best efforts, it may be time to leave. If you have kids, consider how the addiction affects them and if staying is worse than leaving. Do you feel supported, appreciated, and valued? If not, it may be time to walk away.
 
Remember that your life is also being negatively affected by your spouse’s addiction. There are ways for you to help your spouse to get treatment he or she needs, and if your spouse works on maintaining sobriety, the two of you can work on healing your relationship. However, you have to know when it’s time to walk away. You deserve a happy and fulfilling life.

I'm a bookworm, but I'm also a beauty addict. I've spent tons of cash over the years at Ulta, Sephora, Target, and all sorts of places looking for the best beauty products for the average woman. I believe in cruelty-free cosmetics as well. Every Tuesday, I bring you quick information about a beauty product I've tried and loved. Feel free to comment below with products you think I should try out. I'm always on the hunt for the next best product :)

As a beauty addict, I'm always trying to improve my sad technique. I'm no expert at makeup and don't claim to be. I need all the help I can get. You can buy great products, but if you don't know what to do with them, what's the point?

That's where Christen Dominique comes in. Her Youtube channel has completely transformed by beauty routine. I've picked up so many tiny tips and tricks from her that have made a huge difference in my confidence in my makeup.

Her videos show you the power of makeup. I love some of her five-minute face videos, too, because they feel achievable for women of average makeup skills.

Check out her channel! She is beautiful, entertaining, and so dang good at makeup! She also gives honest beauty critiques of products, which I love.

I'm a bookworm, but I'm also a beauty addict. I've spent tons of cash over the years at Ulta, Sephora, Target, and all sorts of places looking for the best beauty products for the average woman. I believe in cruelty-free cosmetics as well. Every Tuesday, I bring you quick information about a beauty product I've tried and loved. Feel free to comment below with products you think I should try out. I'm always on the hunt for the next best product :)
​​

This mask came in my Petit Vour box, which I'm obsessed with. For $15 total (shipped) a month, I get the Petit Vour beauty box. It's like Birchbox or Ipsy, but all products are vegan and cruelty-free. You get four products per box, and the sizes are usually really great. Sometimes, you even get a full-size product.

This face mask came in my last box, and I'm loving it. It's a deep, nourishing mask. It smells amazing. My favorite part, though, is that it is a leave-on mask. You don't have to rinse it off, peel it off, or anything like that. I put this on once a week at night before bed and let it work it's magic.

I wake up with super soft skin without the heavy, greasy feeling. This mask is pricey to buy, but I like the ease of application. It's $38 at Petit Vour. 

I recommend getting the beauty box subscription because it's super fun, a great price, and you get to try new fun products like this.

​How about you? Any mask recommendations? 

No matter how old you get, every stage of life comes with anxiety about change.

This is something I learned while watching my mom care for my ninety-something grandfather as we packed up his home near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and moved him to an apartment complex in our hometown. As I watched my mom help him navigate the change that comes with moving from a house to a complex for those 55 and over, I started to notice something: a sense of community.

Visiting my grandfather and hearing my mom's stories, I saw a rich setting full of emotion. There were humorous moments and misunderstandings as my mom took on the role of caregiver, which certainly jostles the parent-child relationship. There was fear and difficulty as my grandfather adjusted to a new home, town, and life. There was friendship with the elderly living in the apartment complex, but also with their families. The community, as I came to learn, in this apartment building wasn't just about the people living there--it was also about their families. 

And, above everything else, I saw something surprising: Love.

I would see men and women holding hands on the bench outside, talking about their date nights and talking about finding love in a later stage of life. It made me realize two things:

1. Love doesn't have an age limit.
2. Even though each stage of life is different, each stage is filled with the same complex emotions of the human journey.

It was from these facts that Then Comes Love was born.

I drew on the humor from the community my grandfather lives in. I drew on the complex emotions and interactions between the people living their and the interactions between their families. I saw an opportunity for a rich setting with complex characters and emotions.

I also drew on my own family and the relationship between the women in it. I thought about how women in the family from different generations could still really help each other because in their own ways, their feelings and fears would be the same.

Charlotte, Annie, and Amelia came to be from these facts.

Charlotte, 80, is dealing with change in her life. She's moving from her home she lived in for decades with her late husband to an assisted-living facility, Wildflower Meadows. Wildflower Meadows becomes the backdrop and community for all of the interactions in the book. As she navigates the change in her life, she has to try to adjust to the new community and new rules...but she also has to adjust to the fact that her heart isn't done with love just yet.

Charlotte's daughter, Annie, is in her fifties and dealing with a mid-life crisis. She's gone through a terrible divorce while also trying to be a caregiver to her mother. Caught in the middle of several lives, she, too, finds that Wildflower Meadows will lead her to a new set of possibilities.

Finally, Charlotte's granddaughter, Amelia, is in her thirties and quite the wild child. Not ready to settle down, she's lost in a stage of life where she doesn't know what she wants to be.

The three women come together through the Wildflower community in different ways, but all three learn that family sometimes helps us navigate the most difficult moments in life. Furthermore, all three find that love can come along at any time, even when we least expect it.

For an exclusive excerpt of Then Comes Love, sign up for my newsletter! It's coming July 28th, so be sure to check your inbox!