Three years into my romance writing journey, I've learned that writing your truth is the most important thing
I write my truth.
In the beginning, I didn't plan on being a published author. I wrote Voice of innocence partially to prove to myself I could write a book and partially because Emma and Corbin's story wouldn't stop haunting me. Still, from the beginning, this writing journey hasn't been about writing what will sell or what people want to hear. It's about telling the story that's inside. It's about telling the journey of the characters who often take on a life of their own. It's about writing my truth. As I grow as I writer, I'm coming to learn that just like in life, not everyone will love everything about you or your work. Some books just aren't for everyone, and that's okay. It's what I love about literature, and it's part of the beauty of it. We all read literature in different ways. Some books connect with us. Some don't. So, as I continue writing stories, I continue to write my truth. My characters sometimes do things that bother readers. They are sometimes indecisive, they make mistakes, they get confused. They are sometimes vulnerable, naive, and blinded by love. My stories are sweet, but they've got their spice. Some might be bothered by the lack of sex in my books. Some might be bothered by my tendency to curse... because in my experience, women curse. A lot sometimes. It makes my characters feel real to me. At the end of the day, I hope you connect with my stories. I want my readers to find themselves in my books. I pride myself on making readers connect emotionally with my stories, with my characters, and with their journeys to love. The proudest moments in my career are when a reviewer or reader says, "I really connected with that character." It's the best feeling in the world. However, I also don't write with marketing in mind. I write the story I feel, the story inside. I write the words that strike me, that move me. I write about the love stories and plots and situations that haunt me. I write my truth, just like I try to live it. At the end of the day, as a writer, I think that's the best lesson we can learn... write your truth. Write your passion. And, if you're fortunate, your truth will speak to someone else. Isn't that the true magic of writing? Xoxo, Lindsay Detwiler Are you following me on Facebook? Come join me for giveaways and talk about genuine, sweet love.
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As Huffpost Contributor Platform Shuts Down, I Say: Thank You
As a Huffpost contributor, I can honestly say it's a sad day, no matter how rational or reasonable the decision is.
You may have heard that the Huffpost contributor platform was shut down today. For writers like me, it's a sad day. This platform allowed writers both big and small to write pieces and post them on Huffpost's website. From there, Huffpost reviewed posts and decided which to categorize, promote, and share with the world. Over the past year, I've been fortunate to have many articles promoted, including on the front page. It's been a wild ride that I'm so sad to see end. My journey with Huffpost began over a year ago with an article called"Prince Charming Doesn't Exist." On a whim, I emailed Ms. Arianna Huffington herself to pitch my article about love and marriage. I was new to blogging and the world of news. I was a published author who wanted to spread my message about simple romance, about real romance. Arianna gave me that chance, complimenting my piece and giving me an in to the Huffpost Contributor Platform. I was ecstatic. Over the years, this platform has meant so much to me, a small writer trying to share her words. I've been able to open myself up to the world and to share ideas with so many. I've written about being a childless adult, married life, simple love, teaching, and so many other topics. I've learned how to interact with others online, how to improve my writing, and how to connect. I want to say this above all today: I am forever thankful to Huffpost for this opportunity. You allowed me to grow as a writer. You helped me find confidence in my voice and my message. You gave me more than just a platform to share my ideas--you gave me faith in myself as a writer that I had ideas worth spreading. I will forever be grateful for every article you promoted, every front-page placement, and every opportunity to share my words. I won't lie... I'm devastated that starting today, my sharing of words will look different. I was always proud to see the Huffpost emblem on my words. Still, I know all is not lost. I have the confidence to go forth and share my writing, to talk about what matters to me, and to share my visions. I will just have to find a new place to do that. So again, thank you Huffpost for the opportunity and for the platform. I'm sad to see it go, but I know all change is hard. Who knows what opportunity this will bring next for you, for me, and for all of the other contributors who called your platform home for years. Xoxo, Lindsay Detwiler, Author Romance Writers: Here's How To Be Successful
I write sweet romance.
I’ve been a published romance author for almost three years now, but I’ve spent most of those years trying to shrug off this sentence, to run from it. I’ve tried to make my descriptions of what I write more sexy, more risqué, and I’ve sometimes tried to portray my work as something it just isn’t. I’ve spent countless hours trying to figure out how to sell my fade-to-black romance as something more marketable. I’ve attempted, at least mentally, to worm my way into the most popular segments of the genre only to find myself not quite fitting. It’s not that I’m ashamed to write sweet romance. It’s just that for most of my career, I’ve found myself in a defensive position of my writing. It is through these defenses, however, that I’ve learned a lesson valuable to any writer, but especially to those in the romance genre. Taking Heat For Not Turning Up the Heat
I didn’t start my writing journey determined to focus on sweet romance; it just sort of happened. When I put my fingers on those keys and drafted my first novel, sweet romance just flowed out.
I could attribute my sweet romance and lack of sex scenes to many things. Perhaps it was my love of Nicholas Sparks that encouraged me to write books focused on the emotional side of relationships. Maybe it’s that my introverted, conservative personality never allowed conversations about sex to be quite comfortable. Or maybe it’s partially the fact that as a high school teacher, I knew I didn’t want to have to blush knowing some of my students were reading those scenes. Whatever psychoanalysis we want to attribute to the cause, I know the outcome is that my works are lacking in the hot sex-on-the-page sort of scenes. It’s not that my characters are chaste or that I can’t appreciate the value of sex in romance. I truly do. I think we all have our preferences when it comes to spice in our novels, though, and I believe there’s a place for all types of heat levels in the romance genre. Regardless, I’ve found myself “taking heat” for my notable lack of heat. Over the years, I’ve heard comments about the lack of sex in my books and the disappointment over the lack of physicality. The words “sweet romance” seem to incorrectly conjure images of cheesy, unrealistic scenes where everyone is constantly happy, and life is perfect. I’ve been accused of skipping crucial segments of the genre. Again, I get that and appreciate the value of those comments. We each have our preferences and our tastes. These are the greatest gifts literature gives us—stories to fit everyone’s desires and the freedom to critique the stories that don’t speak to us. As an English teacher, I try to impress upon my students the idea that every single book has value, even if it doesn’t strike a chord with you. Nonetheless, for so long, I’ve had a hard time appreciating the value of my own work. Daunted by a market that is seemingly owned by books with heat, I’ve questioned my writing. I’ve felt the “sex sells” society values creeping in on me. I’ve questioned what could happen if I just jumped the “no sex” hurdle. I’ve tried in my drafts to be sexier and more risqué. I’ve considered crossing that not-so-invisible divide within the genre. And you know what? It didn’t feel right. At all. It was with my last release, which is perhaps one of my sweetest romances, that I realized one important thing: Your own truth is the one you should value when it comes to your writing. For me, that truth is that I am a sweet romance writer. I will never fit into the Fifty Shades kind of world in the romance genre, and that’s not a bad thing. It is only when I had this epiphany that I realized my own value as a writer and the worth of my stories. It was when I came to terms with exactly who I am as a romance writer that I could better appreciate my successes and stop focusing on what I am not. Write Your StoryIt’s not just sweet romance that is marked by incorrect stigmas. At several book events recently, I’ve seen the other side of the spectrum. When I mention the word “romance,” I see a shriveling of the nose accompanied by one of the following statements:
Through these comments I realized: No matter what type of romance you write, spicy or sweet, you’re going to have critics. You will never suit everyone’s tastes. And you know what? That’s perfectly okay. As romance writers, we cannot measure success by what’s popular or what the market demands. We can’t base the heat level of our book on marketing trends or on variables like reader preference and opinions of strangers. At the end of the day, we must learn to value our own instinct, our own passion, and our own voice. We must learn to be true to our stories and characters. We must write in the way we are called to write. We must tell the stories we yearn to tell in exactly the way we want to tell them. It is only when we learn to listen to our own voices and let our guts be our guides that we can truly reach success in the genre. So sweet or spicy, sex or not, learn to write the story that speaks to you, and the rest of this arduous but rewarding writing journey will lead you to the exact point you are supposed to be. Lindsay Detwiler is a contemporary romance author with Hot Tree Publishing, a contributing blogger for The Huffington Post, and a high school English Teacher. To celebrate sweet love, visit her on Facebook. It's the time of year when everyone's talking about being thankful. When it comes to my parents, there's so much I'm thankful for.
Most of all, though, I'm thankful for the time you told me "no." Okay, in fairness, that's super vague because there were probably a million times I heard "no" in my childhood. But this specific no is one that sticks out vividly in my mind, even decades later. Perhaps it's because at the time, it was one of the most "traumatic" moments of my five-year-old life. You were babysitting a girl who was the daughter of your friends and, thus, was one of my friends. She was a few years younger than me. My memory doesn't tell me what we were doing out and about. It starts with me standing beside the two of you as you pushed my younger friend in a cart in a toy aisle. I stood beside you as you talked. That's when my friend and I both saw it. My five-year-old eyes sparkled with delight at the beautiful endcap display. There were tiny babies in bathtubs. I'm sure if I saw it now, it would be laughable. But to my friend and me, they were amazing. Truly amazing. A mini, pocket-sized babydoll that came with her own bathtub. A clawfoot bathtub! You could put water in that bathtub! You could put the whole thing in your pocket or purse or wherever you wanted! It could probably fit in the Polly Pockets I had. We needed it. Grabbing hands reached for the endcap. Noticing our desire, the two of you chatted about something, but I was focused on the toy that just had to be mine. And then Mom, you reached for them. My heart swelled with joy. I was thinking of names for the baby in the bathtub that would soon be mine. You handed one baby in a bathtub to my friend, who squealed with delight from the cart. I reached for mine, waiting for you to hand it to me. You shook your head, and my heart sank. This couldn't be happening. I asked for one. You looked at me, sighed, and said, "No." You promised I would get something else, though. You pushed the cart into the next aisle, and I felt tears welling. I remembered what you said, though, about never being bratty. I didn't throw the tantrum I wanted to, but I stared with envy as my friend giggled and stared at the baby in the bathtub. Her baby in a bathtub. In the next aisle, Dad reached for a book. I recognized the cover. It was my Learning To Read book with the silly dog cartoon on the cover. I'd mastered the most recent color of the book at the picnic table with you, so we needed the next book. You handed it to me, telling me I was getting that instead. I stared at the book filled with work pages. I looked at my friend with the baby in the bathtub. I felt cheated. I felt devastated. I was pouty, angry, and disappointed. We moved to the checkout, but the whole time, I kept thinking about how unfair it was. I was so sad about the baby in the bathtub that I can still picture it to this day. But you know what? I'm so glad you said no. I'm so glad I didn't add that cheap toy to my collection of useless toys that would later be thrown away. What you gave me that day was so much more important. Looking back now as a twenty-nine-year-old English teacher, writer, and adult, I know without a doubt that choice you made probably wasn't easy. I know you would've bought me both things that day if you could have. But money was tight, and sacrifices sometimes had to be made. And you decided to break my heart about the baby in the bathtub to get me something that would keep on giving for years to come... the gift of learning. The gift of education. Over the years, I'd forget about the baby in the bathtub for a while. But I didn't forget the lessons I learned in that workbook. I didn't forget my letters or the words they formed. I didn't lose the passion for reading you helped me uncover that day. I'm not a parent yet, but from what I've heard, it isn't easy. It's filled with choices and sacrifices. There are disappointments for both parents and children. You sometimes wonder if you are doing the right thing. That day will forever be in my memory because it was a day I felt like life was so unfair....but that day, when you said no, you also said yes to a pathway that would lead me to where I am today. Thank you for saying no to the baby in the bathtub... and yes to a love for words, reading, and writing that would last a lifetime. Love you both. Genuine, Heartfelt Love Stories
Love isn't just about sex.
It's the one thing I learned from my favorite writer, Nicholas Sparks. From the time I first opened one of his books in junior high, I realized how beautiful, magical, tragic, and complex love truly was. Watching two very diverse people with different struggles, backgrounds, and beliefs find their way to each other was magnetizing. I loved to see how they would meet, how they would overcome their hesitancy, and, most of all, how they would grow and change each other. The power of the love story wasn't in the physical connection--although the first kiss scenes were always some of my favorites. The true power was in their emotional connection, their ability to overcome odds, and the ability to show that love could triumph even where it was thought to be forever lost. Perhaps, without even knowing it, my love of Nicholas Sparks' books was preparing me for my own writing journey later on. When I wrote Voice of Innocence, my first novel, I didn't plan on writing sweet romance--it just came naturally. It was where I thought the depth of the story was. It was where the emotional side of life was resting that I wanted to uncover. It wasn't necessarily an intentional choice to write on the sweeter side of the genre--it was simply what flowed from my pen sitting on my parents' deck that summer when I was twenty-one. And each story follows the same path. I don't set out with the rigid rule for myself to keep my books clean. I don't set out to keep the focus on the emotional rather than the physical. It's just what the characters and the stories decide. In many ways, I think Nicholas Sparks is to blame. He showed me that the true depth of emotion was resting in the connection, in the sweet looks, in the inspiring gestures. Perhaps this is why when I write romance, I focus on the emotional connection, on the love that's experienced in everyday life, and on the love experienced outside of the bedroom walls. My characters in my eight novels aren't celibate. They love and share and bond. They get into heated situations, and their sexual tension is certainly palpable in many scenes. They give in to lust and primal feelings. They are, after all, human. They are in love. Sex is a part of love. It's just not the only part. So although my characters experience their share of intimacy, my books focus on the other areas of intimacy--emotional connection, trust, friendship, laughter, empathy, and strength. They focus on the hardest times in life--loss of loved ones, disappointments, failures, and betrayal--and how love can help us overcome these times. They focus on all of the gritty, raw emotions that are part of the human experience. My characters are real in their journeys, their words, and their choices. They get angry. They swear. They change their minds and get confused. They fail and make bad decisions. They doubt themselves and each other. They are also real in their relationships. They aren't perfect, just like in real life. This has always been my goal with my writing. And, most importantly, just like in real life, their relationships aren't just about sex. Their love stories are complex, weighty journeys filled with all sorts of emotions and connections. Just like in real life, their love stories are not defined by sexuality or physicality. They are defined by multifaceted aspects that contribute to who they are and what they change into. Love, in the real world, isn't just about sex. Thus, I have always felt like it was my duty to show that romance can be real.... and can be about more than just one thing. Romance that's real. Romance that's sweet. That's my mission with my writing. Feel free to join me on my mission to show that the romance genre can reflect real life... and be beautiful because of it. If you need hot on the page sex, these books probably aren't for you
A bookworm at heart and a lover of the romance genre since junior high, I always dreamed of being an author. For me, though, being an author was a wild, crazy dream, one of those things you daydream about but never think will happen to you.
In my last year of college, I took a class called “The Literature of Health & Healing.” It changed everything. Suddenly, we were talking about bucket lists and dreams. I realized I had no reason to wait to chase my wildest dream--writing a novel. I went home, sat on my parents’ deck, and started writing what would become my first novel, a sweet contemporary romance set in a town very similar to my own. Voice of Innocence is about a couple who are high school sweethearts when Corbin is wrongfully convicted of a crime. Told from their perspective decades later, it’s a tale filled with regrets, sorrow, and the idea that first love truly never fades away. My husband, the man who also taught me what love looks like, is the one who encouraged me to send my first book to publishers. After a long journey, I found a publisher and got to see my wildest dream come true. Now, my eighth novel just released with my amazing publisher I am proud to call home, Hot Tree Publishing. It’s been a wild and crazy journey, just as wild and crazy as my dream. I am so blessed that a small-town girl like me gets to live out my biggest dreams. What are my books like? Sweet, genuine, and realistic. That’s how reviewers describe me. I’m in the romance genre, but my books aren’t only about love triangles and finding “the one.” They’re sometimes gritty and raw. They’re about impossible situations, frightening tragedies, and also some hilarious settings. I write both chick lit and romantic drama, so out of my eight novels, there’s a balance of humor and tears. If you’re looking for hot sex on the page, these aren’t for you. My books focus on the emotional side of love--with a touch of spice thrown in. After all, everyone can appreciate some hot foreplay, smoldering kisses, and nice abs now and again, right? Still, my focus is on the buildup and the emotional side of romance. These tend to be books you can share with all of the women in your life--your mom, your grandma, your best friend--and not blush too much. My books focus on realism. I want women to see themselves in my characters. I want their complexities, their confusions, and their struggles to feel so real that you forget you’re reading a book. I want you to see yourself, your best friend, your coworker in the strong, emotional characters of my books. I want you to see your own version of romance in the pages. My characters aren’t perfect because I’m not perfect. None of us are. They change their minds, make mistakes, get lost, doubt themselves, and find joy in the simple things. They are raw and honest. They are complex. Real romance. Genuine romance. Heartfelt romance. That’s what I’m focusing on. If you’d like to join me in proving that the romance genre can be realistic, genuine, and powerfully emotional, join my VIP Fan Club where you can get all sorts of freebies, exclusives, and fun surprises: http://bit.ly/2u42BjU Find out more about my work on my blog: http://www.lindsaydetwiler.com/ Check out all of my novels on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Lindsay-Detw...
Love Notes by Lindsay Detwiler
Do you like getting mail...that isn't junk mail or a bill? I'm going old school and sending out some fun surprises related to my new release, Inked Hearts. Get your exclusive free gift in the mail by filling out this simple form! Feel free to share with your friends!
Love Notes by Lindsay Detwiler
Do you like getting mail...that isn't junk mail or a bill? I'm going old school and sending out some fun surprises related to my new release, Inked Hearts. Get your exclusive free gift in the mail by filling out this simple form! Feel free to share with your friends! Fall for the Book Romance Panel at George Mason University
Yesterday, I was fortunate to be on the "In the Mood for Love" panel at George Mason University'sFall for the Book with Ada Calhoun and Katy Upperman.
The event featured over 150 authors, including headliner Lev Grossman. I got to see him speak about The Magicians. His sense of humor and his humble nature really resonated with me and inspired me to pursue my dreams. Hearing his story of struggle in the writing field and also how he came up with the idea for the series resonated with me. I definitely recommend you check him out if you are a writer struggling with inspiration. My panel with Ada Calhoun and Katy Upperman was equally as inspiring. These two women are passionate about what they write, which shows in their works. In addition, they are just genuinely nice people, which made the event so much fun. I also got to meet Natalina Reis, who happens to be an author at my publishing house, Hot Tree Publishing. To see her willingness to drive just to support me really made me so grateful to be at a publisher with a true family feel. Being an author can sometimes be lonely, but events like today really give you the motivation to keep going. Networking with other authors, hearing their struggles and triumphs, and just being around people with a similar passion as you really incites you to chase your own version of greatness. Thank you so much Fall for the Book for having me. And to all of the authors out there...get out there to events. Be social. You never know where motivation and inspiration will take hold. Happy writing, happy reading, and happy weekend! Lindsay Detwiler Fall Festivals and Small-Town Charm: The Author's Life
I'm a small-town girl with a heart for the small-town kind of world. Sure, I've been dazzled during trips to New York City. The rush of people and the constant thrill is exciting.
But I wouldn't want to live there... because I'm a small-town kind of girl. I like the simplicity of walking down my empty street, waving at a few friendly faces. I like the sometimes humdrum pace of our town. I like walking for breakfast to a tiny cafe down the street, and ambling to a school event on a weekend. I love the friendly, familiar faces at our local haunts. I love the lack of traffic at intersections and the easy pace of our Pennsylvania town. So, this weekend, when my husband and I were invited to a bookstore in a small town in Pennsylvania for the town's fall festival, I was thrilled. These are the kinds of places I feel at home. And you know what? It was one of my favorite author events so far. It wasn't my favorite because we sold hundreds of books (we didn't) or because we had lines of people waiting to meet me (we also didn't). It was my favorite because of the atmosphere, the people, and the small-town charm that just made me feel at home. Watching children laughing as they visited the petting zoo and ate way too much caramel corn. The smell of fried foods and the simple chatter around. The dog costume parade and scarecrow contests. It was an afternoon of warmth and simple, true fun. Sometimes as authors, we lose sight of the journey. We are always wanting bigger, better, faster, more. We are always measuring our paths by how many books we sell or how much money exchanges hands. We try to collect awards and fame. We become so focused on these things that we lose sight of the simple fun, the beautiful memories, and the days like today. Today, I'm thankful for a chance to meet new readers and to explore a new town. I'm thankful my author career has led me to new places and small towns all over our state. I'm thankful for an afternoon in the sun with my husband, laughing and having a simple, small-town adventure. The author's life isn't always about big cities and huge tour stops. Sometimes, as I've learned, the best days and events are the ones that make us feel right at home, that remind us what genuine fun is all about, and help us see that the memories we make along the way are so much more important than anything else. |
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