When you're young, you picture married life or dating life as an adult to be this magical whirlwind of an experience. There will be nightly surprises, red roses, enough candles to start a forest fire if you're not careful, and frequent trips to private islands.

And then you grow up and realize: So much of that just doesn't happen.

Adult life is hard and exhausting. Love as an adult isn't the thing the movies make it out to be. It's a daily struggle to battle the drudgery of adult life, beat exhaustion, and find enough energy to spend time together. And those private islands? Well, for most of our budgets, those are few and far between.

So how do you keep the spark alive when you can barely keep yourself alive some days? How do you keep the romance, the unexpected in your relationship when you're living a paycheck to paycheck kind of existence?

After being with my husband for 18 years and being married for a total of 7 of those years, I've discovered that it can be done. It just takes some effort, some creativity, and some willpower. Here are our 4 tips for keeping the spark alive in a relationship, even if you're on a budget.

Recently, I realized Chad and I hadn't done anything new or special in a long time. Still, we were trying to save money, so a random weekend getaway wasn't really in the cards.

Enter Groupon. Especially when they have a sale, they have such great deals on local or semi-local adventures. I was able to get us a brewery tour for $26 total for the two of us. The brewery was a 2-hour drive, so close enough to not be too expensive or taxing but far enough away to be something new. We spent the day wandering around the quaint and adorable vineyard, Chad drank a lot of beer, and we just had a good time focusing on each other.

Groupon is a great place to find brand-new adventures that you've never done. It isn't always about what you're doing, either--sometimes it's just the fact that it's a new experience that can bring back the spark and the memories.

You don't have to venture far to find new things to try. Is there a new restaurant in town you've been wanting to try? Or are there menu items that usually scare your predictable tastes at your local haunts? How about a new ice cream stand or a park nearby you've never been to?

If you look, there are probably places you've overlooked in your own hometown. Scope out newspapers for upcoming events that you can explore together, or venture into a new business. 

One of our favorite dates was on a winter day when the whole town was shut down. We walked up to our favorite Chinese restaurant and saw a consignment shop we'd never been in. We've walked past it hundreds of times, but never took the time to stop by. We spent an hour browsing relics from the past and laughing about what we could buy. That will always be one of my favorite days because it was simple, spontaneous, and just about us being together.

Don't be afraid to search your own hometown for new experiences.

You don't even have to leave the house to reignite the spark...and no, I'm not saying you have to whip out the lingerie for this one. Sometimes it's just about breaking the routine. Try a new recipe together from a different country. Do the shopping for the ingredients together, the meal prep, and of course, the eating, together.

Stay up later than normal and go stargazing on your back porch. A cheap bottle of wine, some stars, and some good conversation might just be the reconnect you need.

Do a no-tech night where you put away all technology and spend time together. Pull out an old school board game and start your own competition. 

I'm a firm believer that extravagance does not equal love. Sometimes the best kind of dates, the ones that can re-spark our connections, are the simplest. Sure, it would be nice to be surprised with a trip to a private island. But when that's not possible, know that you can find ways to reignite the spark without spending a ton of cash.

You just have to remember what romance is really about... it's about having someone beside you in this crazy thing called life who makes you smile, who makes everything a little bit more fun, and who grounds you in the beauty of your reality. 

It doesn't take loads of cash, candles, or roses to remind you of that. It just takes some creativity, some dedication, and most of all, time.

Do you have any great date ideas on a budget? How do you keep the spark alive? Post in the comments below. I would love to hear your ideas!

Overall rating: 3/5 stars

Plot synopsis:

A Quiet Place is a creature horror movie that follows a family as they try to survive in a post-apocalyptic world. The creatures hunt through sound and have super sensitive hearing; thus, the new world the characters must survive in is a silent world. One of the children in the family is deaf, creating an intriguing conflict in a world where hearing equates to survival. 

Review:

Let me say that I wanted to love this movie so much. I was thrilled to see it on DVD since my husband and I didn't make it to theaters to see it. I sat down, drink in hand, ready to be wowed.

And I was wowed.... by the issues with this movie and major inconsistencies.

There are amazing things about this movie. The acting was phenomenal, and the cast worked well together. I adored the concept of a movie where there was little dialogue. To watch a horror movie that had to be visually exciting and stunning was a unique concept, one I enjoyed very much. I also loved the overall concept. Putting myself in the protagonists' shoes was intriguing; would I survive in this silent world? How much would my life change?

Also, the opening scenes are exciting, scary, and well-done. The conflict is immediately expressed as well as the family dynamic. I settled in and expected an intricate plot, exciting events, and thorough explanations of this new world.

However, the movie fell short for so many reasons. Below are some of my issues with the movie. Please feel free to disagree with me in the comments or tell me what you thought! I'd love to hear from you.

1. Inconsistencies with sound

One of the biggest issues with the sound inconsistency. The creatures could hear a raccoon scuttle across the field, but they couldn't hear heavy breathing of the main character when they were right next to her. Also, in this kind of world, wouldn't everyone die unless they never sneeze? The family is super quiet in certain moments, but then show everyday living in other scenes. 

In addition, the one scene shows the family by the river and waterfall, talking about how it is a safe area because the noise from the water covers their own noise. Wouldn't it be smart to set up a base/home somewhere near the river or a similarly noisy area?

2. So many questions

I am okay with a movie leaving certain aspects up to interpretation, but this movie left way, way too many unanswered questions. Where did the creatures come from? How did this family survive when few others did? Why didn't scientists find out about the weakness uncovered at the end when they had newspapers full of other information? 

There were other smaller questions, too--like where all that sand came from for the trails and how the main character managed to make an entire town of sand paths with just one bag for carrying.

3. Can we please be more careful?

For being one of the few families to survive, this family was reckless in their survival methods. Children were allowed to just roam the farm aimlessly and play outside. In a world this dangerous, wouldn't there be more precautions? In one scene, a boy plays in a truck outside, the horn precariously close to his small fingers. In addition, the family never closes doors. Ever. I think that may go back to the family trying to be quiet, but couldn't you take precautions to cover doors quietly or close them very carefully? At various points, creatures just slip into the house because no one shuts doors.

4. The ending

I know a lot of people like the twist ending, but I didn't really think it was that much of a wow factor. We all figured it out earlier in the movie when the daughter had several encounters with the creatures. I also hated how the movie just stopped....there needed to be more closure.

All in all, I had way to many questions about this movie to give it a high rating. I liked the concept, but there needed to be more answers and more attention paid to some of the inconsistencies.

Don't take my word for it...check out the movie yourself. If you use the link below, I do get a small amount from Amazon.

Check out the links to the books below (I get a small fee from Amazon if you use my links). Also, my video review is posted below!

Have you heard the news? I have a new writing venture, and I'm so excited to tell you about it. I'm going to be dropping some huge publishing news soon, but for now, I'm answering questions about my venture into darkness...and into the thriller genre.

Why the thriller genre, and why now?

For me, writing has always been about telling the story that haunts me, that plagues me until it is told. For my first book, that story was Emma and Corbin's in Voice of Innocence. From there, so many couples and stories came to me, and I felt the need to tell those stories.

My first work in this darker genre wasn't something I consciously set out to do. It was a story that spoke to me, that haunted me, and that wouldn't let me go. In the next couple of months, you're going to learn all about this story and why it had such a powerful hold on me. I'll share with you how it came to be (which, true to Detwiler fashion, is a story in itself). And I'll tell you why this one meant so much to me that I was willing to go out on a limb in a completely different genre.

Certainly, I had my fears writing in a new genre. However, I've always encouraged my writing students at the high school to take risks, to go out on a limb, and to not be afraid to write something completely new. I finally decided to take my own advice when this story begged to be told.

And you know what? I found that I loved writing thriller. I found that I loved writing darker pieces. Most of all, I found that my goal with my romance writing fit in the thriller genre, perhaps even better: To show the realism in humanity, even if that realism isn't always pleasant.

My thrillers are about showcasing the dark realities of humanity. I want to underscore realism and the darkness that resides within everyone. I want to paint characters, scenarios, and scenes that ooze with depth and truth. Those are my goals in my thriller and, in actuality, in all of my writing.

I cannot wait to announce the title of my debut thriller and the amazing publishing company who is publishing it. Most of all, I can't wait for you to read my novel later this year and let me know what you think.
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Do you have any questions for me? Leave them in the comments below. I'll be answering questions over the next few months. Also, be sure to join me on my new Facebook page to learn more about my thriller writing.

From the moment we met, it hasn't been a secret: You're the extrovert, and I'm the introvert.

You're the outgoing guy with the gift of gab who tells stories that are way too long.... but make everyone laugh.

I'm the girl who would rather just listen, observe, and take it all in.

You're not afraid of new social situations, new people, and new adventures.

I'm the one who holds back, who is afraid to go out on a limb, who likes her small, core group of people. I'm the one who frets about social situations while you just go with the flow.

You're the loud to my quiet, the fun-loving to my rational. You're the party to my nerd, the funny to my serious. We are opposites in so many ways.

Yet, I'm so thankful that the introverted, shy girl at the art table found the courage to talk to the rebellious, chatty blond boy across from her. I'm so glad that we didn't let our differences get in the way because looking back, you changed me. You helped me. You made me better.

I know that love is a two-way street. We've both helped each other overcome our shortcomings and grow. We've both contributed to this life we've built together. But today is about how you made me who I am, how you helped me chase my dreams, and how your extroverted nature brought out the best in my introverted self.

You challenge me every single day to laugh a little more and worry a little less. I'm always in my head about what others think or if I'm making a good impression, but you remind me of what matters most. You show me that it's good to be true to yourself and to not be afraid to own that truth. You show me that life is about connections and learning about others and that you don't have to be afraid to do that.

You've pushed me outside of my comfort zone. When I was once a super shy girl afraid of really any interaction with others, you taught me to be confident and to find my outgoing side. It is because of your encouragement that I found enough courage to chase my true dreams of teaching and of being an author. Thanks to you, I've been able to embrace my introverted strengths and share them with others. I've found enough of a voice to project my ideas, my values, and my passions for others to hear.

It is with you by my side that I'm able to talk about my books and to even do a weekly podcast about our lives together. Your gift of gab helps make up for my shortcomings. You bail me out in situations you know I'm not comfortable. You push me to be outgoing when I need to be and you don't let me shy away from situations just because they scare me. You teach me to be brave, to be adventurous, and most of all, to have fun on this crazy journey called life.

In the past few years, I've come out of my shell and found a power in connecting with others. I've realized that it's okay to be extroverted sometimes, even as an introvert. You've helped me find balance.

Above all, you've helped me embrace my quirks and my fears. Your love for me shows me that I am not damaged or broken or less. Even though we're opposites in so many ways, we're the same in the important ways--in our love for each other that has carried us through so much, in our admiration for each other, and in our sense of fun we find together.

So to my extroverted husband, thank you. Thank you for pushing me to be a better version of myself. Thank you for helping me embrace who I am while challenging myself to grow, to change, and to morph into the person I've become. Thank you for being my voice when I can't, and thank you for helping me be my own voice when I can.

Marriage is about sacrifice and it's about learning. I am so glad I get to walk this journey with you, my opposite in so many ways but my soulmate all the same.

I love you.

**Get $25 in credit for your own Stitch Fix by using this link now: https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/18222507?sod=w&som=c&g=w***
Check out my July Stitch Fix unboxing and try on (This is my 2nd box...let's see if they adjusted it for my cheapness, lol).

Stitch Fix is a fashion subscription service. It's $20 to get a box shipped, but the $20 comes off of your total if you buy anything. I love that you can schedule your fixes...you don't have to get one every month!

This video shows you my July box and....an update on last month's jeans I bought...

Whips and chains. Thrusting bodies. Hot, spicy encounters.

Certainly, passion has a place in love and in romance novels. Most of us enjoy some escapism from time to time--and sexy abs aren't a bad thing, for sure.

However, some of the most common questions I get are: Why sweet romance? Where's the hot sex in your books?

In fact, some of the harshest criticism I've received has been about the lack of explicit sex in my books. 

Let me say this: My characters do have hot sex. It's just that most of it happens off the page, behind the scenes. Some of my book characters share some spicy foreplay and some sexually tense moments. However, I leave "the act" up to the reader's interpretation. Why, you may ask? I think it boils down to three reasons. 

Nicholas Sparks has always been my writing inspiration. I've been a fan since junior high. I think he proves that love stories don't have to have explicit sex to be memorable, emotional, and effective. I think that subconsciously, when I started writing, he impacted the style of my romance.

I think it's always been a consideration that whatever I write may end up in students' hands. I teach high school, so the maturity level is higher. However, I still don't know that I'd want to look out to a sea of my book knowing there are some racy, racy parts in them.

Over 17 years of knowing my husband and 7 years of marriage, I've come to learn that love is definitely not all about sex. No way.

Love is soooo much more complicated than the carnal needs we have. Sure, sexual chemistry is a huge part of our search for a partner. However, love is about so much more. Love is this powerfully complex, emotional journey. It's about identity and sacrifice. It's about struggle and triumph. It's about finding someone who builds you up even at your worst. It's about finding someone who not only accepts your baggage but embraces it.

For me, that's where the story has always been. I want to chase the complexity. I want to reveal the harder side of love, the more trying side of the emotion. I want to embrace the deep, emotional side of my characters and who they are together.

Sex plays a role in that, but for me, the more difficult and, thus, more engaging part of the story doesn't usually happen in the bedroom. It happens in a truck in the middle of a blizzard when sex is so far from even being a possibility. It happens in an assisted living center where an 80-year-old woman has completely given up on connecting with anyone. It happens in a small town where  a couple who is just too stubborn to admit they're perfect for each other flirts with the possibility of who they could've been.

So there are many reasons my romance falls on the sweeter side of the genre. I hope this helps you understand why I write what I write. 

What do you think? Do you like your romance on the sweeter side, or do you like more physical connection in your stories? I'd love to chat with you, so hit reply and tell me what you think.

Xoxo,

Author Lindsay Detwiler