Preorder To Say Goodbye for only 99 cents! This contemporary romance, my fifth novel, releases September 24th. Get your hands on a copy today, though, at 75% off!
Feisty Sophia never shies away from life. Playful, romantic, connected—her marriage was the thing of fairy tales. But when tragedy strikes, Sophia is left to pick up the pieces of her life. After leaving the army, Jackson is ready to start afresh. But when he returns home, his life spirals out of control.As Sophia and Jackson find themselves in each other, they start to see redemption is possible. Trying to piece together a new life, they must answer the question: Should they forge a life together and say goodbye to their pasts completely, or should they loyally go their separate ways to avoid heartache? VISIT MY FACEBOOK PAGE AND ENTER TO WIN A $5 AMAZON GIFT CARD IF YOU PREORDER! JUST SEE THE PINNED POST :)
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Facebook https://www.facebook.com/richard.foley.3511 Twitter https://twitter.com/richardfoleyrfi LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/richardfoley Pinterest https://pinterest.com/richard_foley/books/ Google+ https://plus.google.com/u/0/106518902065845878147 Medium https://medium.com/@richardfoley Social network cut'n'paste for the books, cover and images, below. You may also use the authoritative URL to share directly from the blog and subsidiary pages: http://pub.rfi.net/romance-scam-diary Romance Scam Diary by Brigitte Schmid @richardfoleyrfi http://pub.rfi.net/romance-scam-diary During her search to find a partner, the 56 year old Brigitte Schmid signed up to an online dating web portal, hoping she might meet a nice man there. Following several unsuccessful chats and meetings with various men, she found the interesting profile from a Phillip M., a Canadian, who was enlisted in the US-Army and currently posted in Afghanistan. Brigitte felt herself to be head-over-heels in love with this man and did not realize she was being taken in by a professional Romance Scammer, a criminal conman from the West African state of Ghana… This is the true story from her own diary. http://www.amazon.com/Romance-Scam-Diary-Likelihood-Accra/dp/095724326X Baked beans, orange Tic Tacs, and memes.
It sounds like a terrible party game gone wrong, not a list of romantic endeavors. But for me, these three items have shown me love truly does prove itself in the seemingly insignificant moments. Married Life versus Romance: The Battle of Time I’ve been married for 5 years, but I’ve been with my husband over a decade. We’re dedicated, devoted. We’re happy and settled. He’s the one for me. No matter what the media tries to tell you, marriage is a beautiful thing. When it’s done right, it’s filled with moments of connection, of laughter, and of sheer, unconditional love. But let’s face it: every marriage, even the strongest, loses its magical, fairytale glint after so long. The first year, everything feels like you’re living in Paris, drinking wine and watching rose petals fall. The grocery store is an adventure. Showering together, napping together, watching movies together—everything is a romantic date. There are gleeful kisses and “I can’t believe I’ve got you,” moments. There’s pure, sheer romance. And then: real life. Bills. Groceries. Cleaning. Worries. Routine, the romance killer, slinks in. It doesn’t happen all at once. But suddenly, the “I love yous” are strategically planned. The kisses are fewer and farther between, and maybe a little less energetic. He doesn’t notice your new hairstyle or your new dress or your new anything. You shave your legs, perfect your makeup, and put on his favorite perfume—and he stares at his phone the whole time. Suddenly, he doesn’t want to go with you to the grocery store. Suddenly, you can’t remember the last time you held hands or made-out like teenagers or flirted with each other. Expectation versus Reality: Romance and Marriage We all know fairytales aren’t real, and no love is perfect. We’re all warned by wise elders that the magic in marriage fades, that you can’t hold onto the passionate romance forever. We don’t believe them. Deep down, many of us are still the little girl wishing we could be Cinderella with Prince Charming, Belle with the Beast, or any of the other magical princesses. We want to be treasured. We want to have someone fall in love with us. We want to be swept off our feet. It’s certainly not realistic. I don’t even know if it’s possible. Some men would say it’s unfair for women to expect this. Perhaps. But that doesn’t make it any less difficult when the magic begins to fade, even a little. It doesn’t make us any less troubled when we start to notice things slipping away, even if it’s just a magical, unrealistic expectation. How to Keep the Romance Alive: Appreciating the Small Moments I’ve certainly felt troubled about romance and marriage at times. I’ve noticed in the past few years my husband and I hold hands less and less. I can’t remember the last time he bought me roses for no reason. Candlelight dinners are also a thing of the past—although in fairness, it’s partially because of the fire hazard with five wild cats in the house. At first, it was easy to blame him. Why don’t you love me anymore? Why don’t you do romantic things for me like you used to? These were the questions that plagued our marriage for a time. But then, I got real with myself. Do candlelight dinners, roses, and surprise trips to private islands really prove one’s love? Why was I judging my relationship on a pre-conceived notion of romance? Are grand gestures of romance what I really need in a relationship? As a married 20-something, I’ve come to learn that even though the fairytale moments are certainly nice from time to time, we have to learn to look for the other, smaller moments as well. Some may call this settling, and maybe, in fairness, they have a point. But for me, I think it’s more about appreciation for the good things in my relationship. I think it’s about realizing your man might not meet swoon-worthy expectations all of the time, but that doesn’t mean his gestures of love are any less meaningful. It’s about realizing the loss of huge romantic gestures in a relationship does not equate to a loss of love or a failed marriage. My husband doesn’t take me dancing to a formal ball. He doesn’t surprise me with trips to Fiji or chocolate-covered strawberries. But he does show me he loves me in all sorts of small ways. When my husband goes to the grocery store or a convenience store, he always picks up my favorite candy—orange Tic Tacs—and leaves them for me on the counter with a note. When we get KFC for dinner, he orders baked beans as one of the sides even though he hates them. When he’s at home and I’m out or at work, he will send me a picture of a funny meme that he knows will make me laugh. Every day, he does small, seemingly insignificant things to show me I matter to him, to show me I’m always in his thoughts. Are these the gestures romance novels are made of? Not that I know of. But they are the romantic gestures that show me our love is real, even if the gestures seem silly and unromantic to the outside world. Balancing Your Expectations and Reality So does every woman need to settle for baked beans when she really has her heart set on a Chicken Cordon Bleu dinner? I don’t think so. I think the secret is to knowing yourself and knowing what you really want out of life, love, and marriage. If you need champagne and roses in your life, then by all means, hold out for it. But if you don’t want that in a relationship, do not let society, literature, or the media tell you those are the requirements for a healthy marriage. Don’t let your idea of romance be defined by others. So roses, candles, and fillet mignon or Tic Tacs, baked beans, and memes, it doesn’t matter. The fairytale looks different for each of us. We just need to be brave enough to trust our heart and accept the version we want to write for ourselves. Abs rippling, the sexy hunk sweeps the perfectly clad woman off her feet, kissing her at just the right moment. A few perfect lines, a few perfect touches, and they are off to their happily ever after. These are the scenes modern romance is made of... or are they? As a society, we seem to be obsessed with the idea romance is for the twentysomethings only. I am just as guilty as the next woman of wanting to see a gorgeous, sinewy hunk in my romance movie or next read. We think romance is synonymous with youth. I guess in a way it is. But does that mean there is a cut off for love? Does that mean romance, passion, and the spark dies after your twenty-ninth birthday? I certainly hope not. Love's Age LimitThis morning, my faith in love later in life was restored thanks to the Today Show. There was a beautiful special about couples who have been married over fifty years. Hoda hosted a special party for forty-one couples who have been married over fifty years. They even made a music video with the couples called "Little Romance." I found it so refreshing and emotional to see these couples interact in the segment. There weren't any six-pack abs or perfectly tight faces. There weren't passionate kisses or flirtations. But there was certainly love. There were looks of deep, genuine care for one another. There were laughs that certainly had their foundations in the decades. There were gentle touches, care for each other, and just joy. Watching this special, I realized that our society puts so much emphasis on the wild, crazy love of youth that we forget what love later in life can mean. Sure, love later in life might not be zesty and spicy. It might be lacking the swoonworthy scenes of our favorite rom coms. Looking at those couples today, though, I realized there is a genuineness, a deepness in love that spans the decades. There is something to be said for a couple who pledge themselves to one another and make it last through the years, good and bad. There is something heartwarming about the way those couples looked at each other. Love Later In LifeThere are plenty of real life examples to go around, too. I can remember visiting my grandfather at his retirement community apartment and seeing an adorable couple sitting together on the bench. They were so happy together, holding hands and laughing in the summer sun almost every day. I came to learn they had just met at their apartment complex. They were both in their seventies, and both had loved before. Together, though, they were just a portrait of happiness. They glowed when they were together. I heard from an acquaintance later who knew the woman that she said she never knew love until she met this man at the retirement center. She had been married before, but she hadn't loved as deeply as she did now. I thought that was an amazing sentiment. Sometimes, we think there's an age limit on the heart. We think that once one has lived so many years or had so many experiences, the heart dries up. Such is not the case. Love can come in so many forms at so many unexpected times. Love and Literature: Capturing Real Love at Every AgeAs a writer, I try to highlight the real woman's experience. I've written about teenagers. I've written about twenty-year-olds. Now, I'm also writing about an eighty-year-old for the first time.
It seems like there wouldn't be much to write about in an eighty-year-old's love life... but I've found it to be quite the opposite. Then Comes Love follows three different women of three different ages: 80, 50, and 32. Surprisingly, though, I think it was more fun to write the eighty-year-old's story than the others I've written so far. It was fun to explore what love later in life looks like. There was so much complexity to write about and so many emotions. There were things to explore that I didn't get to explore with my other characters. There was also a depth and realness to the emotions that I hadn't experienced with younger characters. Most of all, I feel privileged to get the chance to highlight a facet of love we often forget. Love later in life is a real thing. I hope this book sheds some light on that fact and gives some women hope. I hope it reminds women that love does not have a time limit or an age limit. So am I swearing off writing about young love? Absolutely not. There's something so special about the first time the heart finds love, usually at a young age. But the thing is, I've realized that no matter what your age, love is always special when it comes along. It catches us off guard no matter where we are in our lives. It moves us, it changes us. It challenges us. So whether you're fifteen or one hundred and fifteen, love is a common denominator in all of our lives. And no matter what age it comes at, it's always a beautiful, magical, and complicated thing. First there was Corbin.
Based loosely on my husband’s characteristics, he is the heartthrob in Voice of Innocence who is wrongfully convicted. So many readers felt complete sorrow for him and loved his sense of humor. Next came Camden. The man with the big heart, he’s Jenna’s main squeeze in Without You. A gorgeous body, a penchant for video games, and handy with any tool, he’s loyal and romantic. Then came…Owen. I truly do love Corbin and Camden…but I have to admit Owen is my favorite male protagonist to date. He is my book boyfriend choice from my own writing. Owen’s a bit of the rebel compared to the other men. Tattoos, a tendency to say what he’s thinking, and a passion for life that’s unbeatable all characterize this spiky haired, Adam Levine lookalike. He’s funny and warm. He’s messy and loves takeout pizza. He’s fearless, he’s confident, but he’s also got a soft spot for family. He’s a personal care aide by day, a rocker in his dreams. He’s the perfect mix of badass and sweetheart with some gorgeous attributes mixed in. There are quite a few men in Then Comes Love, but I’m confident Owen is going to steal your heart. He certainly steals Amelia’s. The vision:My perfectly white dress cascades behind me as I walk, flower bouquet bulging in my arms, down the lace-enshrouded aisle. After some elegant words and lofty I dos, we head to the reception, a perfect balance of elegance and fun. The cake is illustrious, the food delicious, and the DJ gets everyone on the floor. We party the night away, walking out under the stars, floating on a cloud. The reality:While the dress is truly beautiful, the straps start to come off, and my mother-in-law has to quickly stitch them after the ceremony to prevent a crazy malfunction. The bustle is incorrect, so we have to hastily do a makeshift, curtainy bustle. I almost put the ring on Chad's right hand instead of the left, and we are confused when it is time for us to kiss since there is no "you may kiss the bride." The sandcastle cake I requested looks more like sea slime and sort of tastes like it. We have no clue how to cut the cake and end up awkwardly making a disastrous mess of it. The DJ blows a fuse, leaving us standing for ten minutes in uncomfortable silence, and he picks the longest version of every song, leaving the traditional dances lasting way longer than expected. The photographer is awful...there are actually no pictures of just us that are clear. Our wedding in October of 2011 was far from the perfect vision we had in mind. There were plenty of things that went wrong and that were disappointing. It's the same for our marriage. This October will mark five years since our wedding day, and I'd like to say life is like a bouquet of roses. But it's not. The wedding flowers wilt quickly, and sometimes the gold band you bought starts to tarnish. Marriage is hard work. The romantic dinners and roses and strolls in the park hand in hand are sometimes just a thing of the movies. Real life--grocery shopping, work, cleaning, house disasters--can be exhausting. Spending almost every moment with someone can be agitating. Do we have beautiful romantic moments? Absolutely. We go to nice dinners. Chad surprises me with chocolate instead of roses (which is exactly what I would prefer). We laugh at life's crazy moments, and we often have a perfect night getting takeout and watching Netflix. We have a good life. But are things perfect? Hell no. We have screaming fights about his snoring or spilled soda on the floor or whose turn it is to let Henry out. We argue about where our furniture should go or when I last did laundry or who left food out on the counter to spoil. We scream about where the stamps are or where the savings account book is or where my favorite shoes got to. We accuse each other of eating the last Kit-Kat or misplacing the Xbox controller or Henry's vet papers. Like our wedding day, things aren't always the dreamy vision we had in mind. There are plenty of disappointments. But over the years, I've learned one big thing. Love is never perfect. It's frustrating and messy, just like a wedding. Sometimes the cake you bought tastes awful. Sometimes your gorgeous dress almost loses its straps. Sometimes the man you married snores way too much or refuses to put his laundry away or puts empty boxes back in the pantry. Sometimes the woman you married stuffs the trashcan full so she doesn't have to take it out or leaves coffee cups everywhere or leaves cereal in the sink (hypothetically speaking, of course. This is CLEARLY not about me :) ). But real love, the kind worth hanging onto for a lifetime, doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, if you can choose to stand beside someone who sometimes drives you crazy, if you can look past the ugly moments and focus on the beautiful ones, then you know you actually found love. Apparently, our shower has writing power. I had signed the contract for my first novel Voice of Innocence and was standing in the shower one summer day. Between the shampooing and the rinsing process, the idea for Without You came to me. Fast forward to the next summer. Again, I found myself in the shower, perhaps conditioning this time. As the steam filled my lungs, the character of Charlotte came to me. I imagined her to be a mixture between my own late grandmother—who was obsessed with bingo and cats—and a spunky Betty White. She loved yellow and, despite her age, was super outgoing. From there, the idea to write about Charlotte as well as her daughter and granddaughter came to me. I always write in multiple perspectives, but usually only two. Why not three? Then Comes Love was born. From the beginning, I knew this book would be different. I wanted it to have the same realism I pride myself on, but I also wanted there to be a touch of humor. If you’ve ever spent time with the elderly or in some sort of community for the elderly, you know humor is definitely a part of the life. My grandfather is currently ninety-three…and we have had many humorous moments with him. Life in an assisted living center, a retirement community, or even a nursing home can be a crazy experience.I wanted to focus on that. I also wanted to focus on the idea of identity and loss. My characters in this book are thirty-two, fifty, and eighty, but all three are struggling with figuring out who they are at their respective life stage. So often, we believe that by a certain age, our lives become solidified. We expect a smooth sailing, routine path. This is often not the case. No matter how old you are, you will face doubts, changes, and struggles to figure out what you want. My three characters experience all of these feelings. Finally, I’ve written a lot about first loves. This is probably because I married my first love. I have absolutely no experience with second loves. So that was why I wanted to write about second loves. I have friends and loved ones who have had second loves. I’ve heard about the conflicting emotions, the complications in opening your heart again. Whether you lost your first love by choice, by death, or by other circumstances, moving on to a second love brings its own set of complications. I wanted to highlight that second love is sometimes more difficult than first loves…but also sometimes more beautiful. Voice of Innocence was my pipe dream, the book I thought would never get published. Without You was my confidence booster. It allowed me to see that I could really do it again. Then Comes Love is the book I’ve always wanted to write. Thanks to Hot Tree Publishing, I will now get to share it with you. I cannot wait to share these characters with you. Don’t tell my other books, but this one is truly my absolute favorite. Check out my Facebook page to stay up to date on cover reveals, contests, and release information. |
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