Getting a divorce is a painful experience but one you can use to your advantage if you approach it with a positive attitude and an open heart. Check out this guest post by Caleb Anderson
Chances are, you’ll be ready for a change of scenery once the divorce is final. If you have kids, you may want to postpone moving for a while to allow for time to adjust to a new family dynamic. However, when the time is right, a relocation may be just what the doctor ordered to get yourself back on track.
When you move, think about how you want to be different than before. For instance, if you need to replace the bad habit of not exercising, look for a home with access to recreational facilities, greenways, and outdoor activities. If saving money is a goal, consider temporarily living with friends or relatives, which will serve a dual purpose of giving you someone to talk to when you feel down.
Whatever you decide to do, don’t rush. Closetbox, an on-demand storage company, actually offers quite a bit of good advice for men and women in the midst of a divorce: "Plan ahead as much as possible, accept help from loved ones, support your children, and most of all, show yourself some compassion and flexibility as you embrace your next chapter."
A New Beginning
While your divorce is the end of one chapter, it offers you the opportunity to turn the page to pen for yourself a new narrative. Barry Gold, founder of DivorcedOver50.com, explains that getting a divorce provides hope. Eventually, you will learn to look at your previous life not as a story in itself but part of the background leading up to better things. Divorce opens up a number of opportunities to teach your children about healthy and unhealthy relationships and clears the path for you to explore new connections.
When your relationship dies, it can feel as though it’s taking part of you with. But it’s not so much a death as it is a chance for rebirth.
Separating from a spouse inevitably means additional responsibilities. Where you once shared household chores, carting children back and forth to events and activities, and handling emergencies, you are now on your own to do these things. As overwhelming as it is, this is a perfect opportunity to evaluate what you prioritize in life. You may wish to drop your expensive cable subscription in favor of saving $100 a month to put toward travel. These are decisions that you are now free to make on your own.
Happy Parents, Happy Kids
There has been much debate over the issue of divorce versus making an unhappy marriage work as it relates to children’s overall well-being. Most experts agree, however, parental happiness is directly related to children’s happiness. Parents who choose stay together but exist in a world full of tension and turmoil may actually be causing more damage to their children than if they were to divorce, according to licensed therapist Susan Pease Gadoua. What we’re saying here is that sometimes kids benefit just as much as the parents after a divorce. And happy, well-rounded children should be every parent’s ultimate goal.
Whether you are a man or woman, young or old, or have been married for a year or a decade, getting a divorce hurts. But, there is something very liberating about letting go. A divorce may be an opportunity for you to rediscover long-lost passions, reclaim old friendships, and live an overall happier life. By focusing on the positive, you provide for yourself the chance to rewrite your own story and put yourself in the lead.