No One's Love Is Instagram-Worthy All of the Time
With some sweatpant-material shorts I wore yesterday and my hair in a greasy ponytail, I plop some sauerkraut and hot dogs into a crock pot. When my husband gets home from work, we'll probably sit in silence eating our meal that is embarrassing to admit to let alone photograph for social media as I'm a terrible cook (I know right now the mashed potatoes are going to be lumpy and the hot dogs will probably be under or overcooked). We'll sit and play on our phones, read, play video games, and get through another Monday in mundane adult life.
In truth, it's a far cry from the swoonworthy couples all over Instagram or the #forever pictures we see on our social media platforms. And, in truth, if I thought too much about it, I might be pretty down in the dumps about the fact that our relationship's Instagram-worthy moments are few and far between....and even the ones worthy of Instagram probably aren't getting any awards anytime soon.
I'm a romance author who is married to the boy she met at 12 at the art table. We've been together ever since, and we've now been married almost 7 years. We are the typical opposites-attract couple, and he is my everything. Our simple life is truly more than I could've asked for.
Still, in comparison to social media couples, our love seems lackluster, dull, or even non-existent. Romantic getaways are few and far between, and most nights, romance is defined by a quick kiss goodnight or an "I love you" in between feeding the dog and doing dishes.
Here's the thing, though: I truly believe that no one's love is Instagram-worthy all of the time. I truly believe that all relationships, all real ones, probably have more non-Instagram-worthy moments than anything.
We all have the moments cuddled up on the couch in clothes we wouldn't go out of the house with, too lazy to move a muscle let alone make a romantic move. We've all had those classless dinners, those moments of boredom, and even those moments of sheer rage.
My husband and I are no exception.
There are plenty of times we plan a nice date or a trip and he is a total asshole... or I, admittedly, play the asshole role. There are plenty of moments we thought would lead to this picturesque, romantic scenes that led to nothing but misery in a rain storm, long lines, and a realization that the experience we thought would be revolutionary turned out to be overrated.
We've had copious weeknights of boredom, of survival, and of just trying to get by anyway we can. Romance is out the window on these nights.
In short, our lives are far from the tropical fantasy getaways, candlelit dinners, caviar, and smiling, perfect people on social media. Our love is rarely an Instagram-worthy moment.
However, I think that's okay. I think if we are all being honest, the moments we post on Instagram or Facebook or our social media of choice are just a snapshot, a blink in the true relationship we live. In reality, no one's love is perfect. No one's life is a string of perfect snapshots.
We all have our struggles. We all have our weaknesses. We all have moments in our love stories where we feel like giving up.
So just because your love story isn't always Instagram-worthy doesn't mean it's any less real.
Love isn't perfect. Love doesn't have to be a constant photograph opportunity. This is the realization that led me to writing the books I write.... ones that showcase real love, the gritty, raw, candid kind that isn't always perfect.
Because when we start to realize that no love is perfect, we can give our own love a little slack and start appreciating it for what it is.... beautiful in its own right.
Join me in celebrating candid love. Follow me on Facebook where I talk about our "real love" moments and where every Saturday, my husband and I chat love, marriage, and adult life on our show, Chapters & Checkpoints at 7pm EST.
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